Before I Forget
by shotted
Summary: For someone to get tossed from being 24 to 16 is bad enough, but to have small details changed.. Cloud finds himself accepted into SOLDIER and himself in a multitude of odd predicaments.
1. CH1 Toss me around

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

The Fenrir had been roaring underneath him carrying him over the wasteland as he had been on his way to deliver yet another package – really, apparently his credit, success rate and name were making his demand go even higher - and then the oddest feeling had struck him. Cloud had suddenly felt uneasy, disoriented and weak, his eyesight beginning to grow lighter and he could remember the motorcycle toppling over before he had been encased with white and for a few fleeting moments, he had been waiting for Aerith's voice, to hear her comforting words but instead.. all he saw and almost _heard_ was white. Silence reigned over his senses, when just a few moments ago the sound of rushing wind and the large motor had been loud in his ears. In a sense, it was calming and soothing, for once all he knew were his own thoughts, his own fears and his own feelings. It was almost deliberating and the man could not help but smile slightly. Or at the least, he felt like he was smiling.

Not fully aware of his own body, the man floated, not quite knowing what to make of the situation he was in, in face he was beyond puzzled as silence in the Lifestream – it was the only thing it could be! - was something he was not used to. There were no whispers, no hushed voices, no feeling that Aerith or Zack were anywhere near and that was in itself quite disconcerting but somehow, he could not bring himself to feel all that concerned about it. Fleeting thoughts ran through his head, starting from the slight annoyance of him having just managed to put all of his and Zack's thoughts in chronological order, to the slight elation that the thought of him finally getting out of all of the triviality of living. That of course made him berate himself, forcing himself to think about Denzel. That sweet, sweet boy that had gotten through Geostigma and who truly wanted him to be part of the small haphazard family that consisted of him, Marlene and Tifa.

Tifa. He did not know just what to make of her, not when surrounded by all this white, with his guilt only distant pangs somewhere in the back of his mind. He had always known that she was important to him but as she wanted more, he had found himself distancing himself and now.. well, it seemed now he would not have to worry about that anymore, not with the way things were advancing in this white void.

Disturbing the serenity was a slow, aching pain, as if everything in him was shifting, as if his entire being was altering. It felt odd, yet he couldn't find it in himself to be in the slightest bothered, instead the man simply wondered what on earth it was that was wanted of him this time. Just when everything had settled into order he was thrown out of the loop again, not knowing just what was happening but at the least, this wasn't painful. All in all, he was annoyed to have things constantly pushed onto him, especially since he had supposedly saved the Planet so many times, yet she kept on asking, demanding of him and so, he succumbed. Who was he to resist her charm, her voice? After all, her voice was much better than the memory of those of Jenova's. Those hadn't exactly been fun times.

The alterations stopped and with some amusement he almost thought of himself as shorter, but then again he still could not see even himself. But what did finally get him roused from his serenity, was the fact that he felt like he was falling and falling all too fast. Trying to grasp onto something and failing to do so, he found himself remotely terrified, a shrill sound going through his consciousness, making him remember awful times of when he wasn't completely alone in his body, and he couldn't help but wonder if that calamity had yet again gotten hold of him but as he finally shot up, opened his eyes, he found himself gasping as he sat, his eyes wide.

And in a bunk bed that was smaller than the bed he was used to.

With a younger boy looking at him like he had an extra head – and also mildly pissed off since he had apparently woken him up.

Blinking his eyes, Cloud got his breathing into control, looking at his hands and to his shock, he found them smooth, without the scars and callouses of the countless battles he had been. He knew the boy was talking to him but he wasn't paying attention, instead he was far too busy trying to figure out where he was, especially when turning his head his blonde hair brushed against his jaw. Eyes widened, his jaw dropped and for a moment, he could only stay very still, his poor brain hurting from being put through such a blender. To add to his confusion, he realised he remembered everything with almost blinding clarity, which aided in him remembering just where he was and what was happening.

He was back to being 16.


	2. CH2 I've got this funny feeling

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

The boy's voice was prattling off in his ear whilst he tried to figure things out, his blonde brow furrowed together as he tried to get some sort of resemblance of sanity into the current situation. He was shorter. He didn't have muscle. And his blonde hair was _longer_. In fact it was so long one would have almost been capable of pulling it into a ponytail and he couldn't help but wonder how quickly someone would be capable of making it shorter, easier for him to live with. Right now it was tickling his neck and that really irked him. Looking down at himself, cloud lifted his unbelieving eyes to the still prattling boy in the opposite bed, not quite sure what to do with himself, not sure what to say and all in all, his brain was having slight troubles trying to figure out just what had happened.

"Shut up, Alex! I'm trying to think!" He hissed, only to have himself faced with another problem. His voice was different, carrying no traces of the confidence it had gathered during the years. The one thing that irked him, however, wasn't in the slightest as deep as it had been and thus, he was yet again reminded of the one thing that had been his problem when he had been a teenager. He'd always looked far too feminine for his own good.

Becoming aware of the sudden silence that had taken reign over the whole room, he glanced over at the brunette who gave him an exasperated look before he huffed a 'whatever' and rolled onto his side, trying to go back to sleep. Cloud was glad for that small reprieve, the boy's voice having annoyed him to hell and back and that was also the moment in which he found the first anomaly. The boy he had been rooming with when in the Shinra Corps hadn't been named Alex. It'd been Marcus. His brow furrowed and he looked at his back, trying to remember and all he could remember were bits and pieces. It was starting to feel eerily similar to the time in which he had held Zack's memories as his own and simply remembered his own memories as flashbacks and small inconsistencies. Slowly he was realising that it was somewhat scary and with a hasty mumble of apology, he tugged on the standard SOLDIER-issued boots, the trousers and the sleeveless turtleneck and rushed out of the room. Closing the door behind him, he then realised what he had just put on and he had to lean on the closed door for support as his mind was reeling.

_Three days ago, you passed with flying colors._ A soft growl left the man as the small voice in the back of his head supplied him with the answer and he couldn't help but sigh. That meant that he had been tested with mako already and also that he would receive his first mako dosage the next day, as well as going through the first hellish classes. Or at least.. he thought they would be hell. After all, he hadn't exactly been on any of those before but at the same time, memories of classes fleeted through his mind that hadn't been there before, or at the least they hadn't been as clear. Yet again, confusion entered Cloud's mind and he couldn't help but growl in frustration.

Wrapped in his thoughts, he pushed himself away from the door and practically stalked his way through the corridors to the gym, needing something to do, something to balance himself and soon enough, he was standing in the empty hall. With annoyance, he realised he couldn't see all that well in the dark and as he listened, he couldn't even hear as well as he used to. It was all becoming quite annoying and frustrating, not to mention that the familiar weight of the First Tsurugi wasn't anywhere on his person. He wanted that sword, wanted all those six blades at his disposal but instead what was he left with? The swords that they would give here. _Then again, it's not as if I could even lift up the main blade anymore_, his thoughts happily supplied him and he let out a soft sigh before he breathed out a deep sigh, walking to the middle of the gym.

For a few moments, he stood there, simply breathing, gathering himself and trying to get himself to focus before he eased himself into a familiar pattern of katas. Except what his mind might have known, his muscles had forgotten and Cloud found himself fumbling and soon, he simply stopped, shaking slightly as his muscles couldn't take the strain, or the pace in which he wanted to complete every single move. It took a few deep breaths, a quick look around to check whether he was still alone before he started again, though this time he did not even think about the more difficult ones. Instead, he recalled easier katas that seemed relevant to his younger years and suddenly, things got easier. That did not, however, make Cloud any less disappointed with himself even as he flew through the easy katas with a higher speed than average, his movements precise and it was with the last move that there was a slight tremor and he let out a somewhat heavy breath, his chest heaving from the exertion even as he bowed to his imaginary oponent.

His frustration was clear, his shoulders tensed and his eyebrow ticking slightly, even if his mind felt just marginally calmer what with having found itself a goal. He had to improve himself and for once, he was actually looking forward to mako treatments. He wanted the added power so that he could feel like himself, could get his body to function like he wanted it to before it faded from his memory. A soft growl left his lips as he practically stalked his way out of the gym, seeming quite annoyed as he stalked through the empty halls and it wasn't until he saw a rather large figure standing in the hallway that he realised that the corridors were empty and that there most likely was some kind of a curfew. And if there was, traipsing around at three in the morning was most certainly outside it.

"It is past curfew, SOLDIER 3rd class," came a rather strict voice and Cloud simply thanked his lucky stars the voice didn't belong to the general. He wasn't quite sure how he would be able to cope through that confrontation this early on. And so, halting, he snapped himself into attention and looked up at the imposing figure, only to almost forget himself. Angeal Hewley.

"My apologies, sir." His reply was rather faint, what with the shock of seeing those stern features setting into his mind, even if the only things he could remember were quick flashes from the memories of Zack. And for some reason, those memories seemed a bit altered. He didn't quite have the time to figure out what was difficult, before someone walked up next to the man.

The sigh of those glowing sky-blue eyes and that black spiky hair, not to mention the strict expression covering up an amused look was something that threatened to break the blonde. He could have handled just seeing Angeal, but to see Angeal and Zack together... Before his eyes were pictures of him bloodied, pierced by bullets, lying on the wasteland around Midgar, telling him to live on and be his living legacy. And then the insanity, the loss of identity, the shock of everything that had happened to him settled and Cloud simply stood there, staring at the younger of the duo. He looked just the same, just like the puppy Angeal had said he had been. He must have shown some of this shock on his features, because Zack was suddenly looking very concerned, walking towards him past Angeal – the older man tried to tell him to stay back – and took hold of Cloud's shoulder, steadying him.

Not having realised he had swayed, the blonde looked up at him – Gaia, had he really been that short? - and realised that he did not cover up his emotions as well as he should have. Instead, his brain did the one thing it deemed fitting for such a situation and shut off, leaving the blonde crumbling into Zack's arms, his consciousness finally leaving him, letting him out of the situation.

* * *

"I swear, he was looking at us like he knew us!"

"We've been in possibly every newspaper ever printed in the last few weeks, Zack."

".. That's not what I meant! It's like he _knew _us!"

Woken up to the sound of bickering, the first thing that Cloud realised was that he had a killer headache and those voice sounded like they shouldn't have been there, like they should have been buried in some deep memory. A deep groan left him and the bickering stopped, with strong hands suddenly helping him sit up. Blinking his eyes open, the blonde found himself looking into eyes that were painfully familiar and he had to bite back a gasp, this time managing to cover up most of the recognition and surprise from his eyes, instead he looked at him with something akin to awe. Zack really was there, wasn't he? He was alive.

"Hey, you alright kid? You seemed to space out on me and I thought the exam's must've gotten to you but.. Hey! Are you even listening to me?"

Cloud wasn't even thinking about listening to him, not when he was taking in his surroundings, trying to figure out where the hell he was but the only thing he came to realise was that he simply had no recollection of this place. His brow furrowed, eyes noticing Angeal watching from further away in much more casual wear – he didn't have his the Buster Sword on his back (that was something, right?) - before he finally concentrated on the puppy infront of him, giving him a very annoyed look at being so blatantly ignored. A sheepish smile curled Cloud's lips and he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck apologetically, licking his lips as he glanced around yet again, trying to figure out what to say. Feeling shy was so new to him after all these years and thus, the fact that he felt his pale cheeks blushing quite brilliantly made him almost mortified.

".. I.. I'm alright. Thank you," he then finally managed to grind out, sounding pathetically weak if one asked him.

"Yeah, no problem or anything but you shouldn't wander around in the halls at night!" Zack was as excitable as ever and the fact that he was oblivious to just how wonderful it was for Cloud to hear his voice, simply made the sensation of listening to him even sweeter. "I mean, it's all cool and everything but the tight asses in HQ don't like their future weapons walking around when they should be resting and all!"

"I'm sorry," the blonde found himself saying softly, not raising his eyes. "I simply couldn't sleep and needed to work off some stress."

The situation was beyond bizarre. Cloud couldn't determine just what he was feeling, especially with Zack so close to him, acting like nothing bad had ever happened to him – well, it hadn't – and to him it was such a paradox that it was making the headache get stronger and his mind to start feeling a bit shaky again. Especially the fact that Angeal had said something and he and Zack were bickering – though he had to admit that it was Zack doing the bickering and the Commander was simply watching him with that amused expression, giving short and almost annoyed replies. Clutching to the cushions of the couch, he took it upon himself to yet again look around the room and he realised he was in some kind of large living room, with numerous doors leading out and he couldn't help but wonder what they were. But what was the greatest oddity of the situation? Why on earth was he there in the first place?

"Uhm.. e-excuse me.." Shiva, but he hated the way his voice quivered! Once he had the attention back to him, he swallowed and blushed slightly, feeling as if he had interrupted something.

"I simply.. I uh.. Why am I here? And where is here, exactly?" Zack blinked, looked at him like he was stupid before he let out a laugh.

"Well. You're in the apartment of the Commanders Hewley and Rhapsodos, the General and Lieuetenant Fair! Didn't think it'd be fair to leave you out in the corridors so we brought you back here."

The response was almost as he expected, however then his mind ground to a halt and his large blue eyes widened slightly. The General? As in.. Sephiroth? For a few moments, his mind hit a wall and he could not think straight. Hate started somewhere deep within him, but then it was crushed by silly hero-worship, only to be replaced by an adoration of sorts. The headache was becoming more and more intense, making the process of thinking quite painful and he didn't doubt that it was becoming quite obvious that he wasn't well.

"I.. I think I should leave, then," he said, making a move as to get up off the couch, only to have a strong hand pushing him back down.

"Nu-uh! You're staying here for the night in case you faint again. I mean.. you just had your mako reaction tested, right? Might be something wrong," he replied easily, not in the slightest seeing something wrong with keeping someone from their room. Cloud wanted to tell him that he would be fine with mako that he'd had worse but instead of that, he found his attention diverting to the sound of a door opening and closing and the sounds of two people walking in. The other one wasn't as familiar as the other one and even then, the one he recognised was so infinitely different from what he usually heard. From the foyer stepped in Genesis and followed by him, the tall figure of Sephiroth. Cloud's heart stopped as those cat eyes found his and in an instant, terror and hatred tore through him, a sharp pain going through his body as if the Masamune had yet again been impaling him before he fell into blissful oblivion.

"Oh come on! That's the second time in no more than an hour!"


	3. CH3 And it burns

_**A/N:**_ Soo.. I do like them reviews, so I could always get those for my hard work when it comes to updating. It aids with the writing process and what not so please, do indulge me! Oh right. And if you want to beta me – is that even the correct term? - then please be in contact.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

Cloud had to admit, he had never had an odd dream of this caliber before. He could have almost laughed at the absurdity of it all, except it was simply so far-fetched that he was preferring to keep his eyes closed even if he had woken up a few seconds ago. In his dream, he'd been thrown back into his teenage years, miserably failed at executing katas, fainted in front of Zack and Angeal, found himself in the living quarters or high-ranking SOLDIERs. And the best part? Those SOLDIERs were of course none other than Genesis, Angeal, Sephiroth and Zack! This time, recapping all that had happened, actually made him chuckle and he rather sleepily blinked his eyes open, looking up at the ceiling. Except the ceiling was looking back at him with somewhat amused green eyes that were quite cat-like and had an odd glow to them. Transfixed for a moment, he found himself caught in those eyes only to have strands of hair brushing against his cheek and that was what finally got him out of the reverie.

It had all been true.

His large blue eyes widened almost comically as he tried to figure out something to say, only for a very alien sound leaving the man on top of him. That amused chuckle that left the lips of the General had poor Cloud's brains hitting a mental wall and yet again, he could only look up at him as that man straightened up and moved out of his sight. Blinking rapidly, Cloud could not help but feel beyond confused, not knowing in the slightest what to think even as he was slowly starting to recall the feelings of horror when he had fallen asleep and somehow, he knew that this man had caused it. Pushing himself up to sit, the blonde let out a deep hiss at the feeling of the headache intensifying, his jaw-gritting only to find a glass of water and a painkiller being held out to him by a pair of strong, pale hands that had wielded the sword that had stabbed him more than once.

"Take this. I will not have a puppy giving me any kind of trouble for not making you take care of your headache," came the man's voice and Cloud could not help but notice just how wonderfully smooth it was and how void of malice it could be. That wonderful baritone that felt like it went straight through his core to his toes, making them curl even as he looked up at him and tried to decide if he should have been worried about getting slaughtered in mere moments, or if he should simply take the offered pill.

"I am not going to hold these here for long."

Well that settled it and with a quick mumbled thank you, Cloud took the pill and the glass, swallowing the pill and chasing it down with the entire glass of water. Apparently, he had also been thirsty. During the time that he had taken the pill, Sephiroth had already moved away with that cat-like grace of his, not making a sound as he made his way to one of the room's. Glancing around, he was searching for a clock, mainly because his internal clock was shouting at him that he had over-slept. Finally, when he found the first timekeeper, he let out a rather colorful curse as he threw his feet to the floor and made to stand up, only to feel so faint he would have dropped like a dead weight if he hadn't been pushed down onto the couch. A soft groan left him as he buried his face into his hands, fingers finding his temples as he started trying to ease the pain away from his body, his shoulders tense as he tried to not panic with the man's presence in the room. Considering all the things the General had done to him, he had to recommend himself on his performance.

"I took the liberty of excusing you from your classes, however I promised to Dr. Hojo I would be taking you to your scheduled appointment." That voice was doing odd things to him and he wasn't sure if he liked it. "Apparently Zack found it an appropriate time to call in a favor and thus, you have me all to yourself until your appointment."

Somehow, Sephiroth didn't seem all that thrilled with the idea of being stuck with a rookie but as Cloud ran it over, he wouldn't have exactly been bouncing about in joy if he had been thrust with a wayward 3rd class. Biting his lower lip, Cloud found himself at odds and thus, he simply kept running circles on his temples with the very tips of his fingers, breathing softly as he tried to get his breathing and his thoughts into an order that would enable him to put that mask on. He needed to look indifferent, shy and almost timid but right in that moment, he knew he would have only showed that deep-seated terror and a certain sense of betrayal when he looked at the man. Why hadn't the planet simply taken away all of his memories? He could have changed things without remembering all the atrocities that had happened to him before.

"S-sephiroth, s-sir? I do not wish to be a b-bother," he managed to grin out, words somewhat muffled by his position but he knew that the mako-enhanced man would have no trouble hearing him.

"Do you think I would have bothered myself with babysitting if I were busy?" He asked that slight cold tone making Cloud look up, noticing the way that elegant eyebrow arched higher towards his hairline. But at the same time, he realised how much younger the man looked, how free of sorrow. Of course, there were still the burdens of Hojo's experiments but the insanity was out of his being and that in itself made Cloud feel almost bewildered. Of course, he had seen Sephiroth before he had cracked, but he had never seen the man before Angeal and Genesis had left, at least not up cold. Now, looking up at him, he could see that this man was more open and – dare he say it? - almost even had a sense of humor.

"I apologise.." Was the lame response that Cloud could come up with once he regained use of his vocal chords, looking down at his lap and wringing his hands together.

What on sweet, sweet Gaia was he supposed to do? He was in a room with the all-mighty Sephiroth, weak and disoriented and now he was supposed to simply spend a few hours doing nothing with him? For someone who was used to doing something all the time, it was an absolutely horrible thing to be faced with and so, Cloud started fidgeting. He might not have had all that pent up energy that Zack did, but he still needed to have something to do almost constantly or he became grumpy. Almost annoyingly, he then noted that he had never acted like this before, or at the least, it had been the longest time since he had been given the permission to feel in the slightest uncertain. He hadn't permitted it to himself, no, but here these people would most likely understand why a third class SOLDIER might be a slightly bumbling idiot. That was most certainly what he felt like in that very moment.

Snapped out of his reverie as a sandwich was placed on the coffee table in front of him, he felt the urge to laugh at the absurdity yet again. The self-proclaimed Chosen One making him a sandwich? And to top it all of, it seemed like he had actually done a rather decent job of it, if Cloud was to be of any judgement. At the offer of tea or coffee, he almost choked on the bite that he had been chewing, managing to croak out a very pathetic choice of coffee, only to simply focus himself on the food and then on the coffee once Sephiroth placed the cup on the table in front of him. Silence fell over the pair and the blonde felt more than a little self-conscious sitting there, knowing his hair was bound to be sticking up in every single direction it could, whilst he most likely looked like one hell of a runt compared to all the other thirds.

Never before had he been so glad for a telephone to ring, though he had to admit that the ringtone made him laugh. Honestly, who could keep anything chocobo related as their ringtone?

Left to his own devices, he could finally relax, only idly listening to that calm, controlled voice of the General's floating through the atmosphere of the room as he finished his food and took the cup of coffee, nursing it quite protectively. When had he last had anything this good? From the smell of it, it was fresh ground but really, if he thought about it, what else should he have expected from the General and his flatmates. The next thing that came into his mind was question about his own personality. Since when had he begun questioning so much and start bothering his head with trivialities such as whether a chocobo related ringtone was in anyway appropriate? A soft huff left him as he stood up, his feet taking him to the nearest bookshelf.

Blue eyes scanned over the different shelves, trying to decide which one was which. Genesis was easy to spot – after all, there was only the LOVELESS there, though he couldn't quite understand why the redhead didn't have it with him. Angeal's shelf was most likely the one about politics, honor, history and quite curiously, wine-making and dumbapples. Zack didn't seem to have a shelf, but that didn't exactly surprise him since he had never found him to be the reading type and he figured if Zack wanted to read, he would simply take one of Angeal's books. From what he saw, he doubted the boy's mentor would mind in the slightest if he could get his puppy to read anything else but the last Honeybee magazine. A somewhat wry smile played on his lips at that thought and he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head.

And then he found a shelf that seemed quite cold personality-wise. There were plain books about tactics, mako science and bio-research, but adding that little bit of spark were horror movies and the occasional comic book. Suddenly, Cloud felt beyond self-conscious, feeling like he was invading and at the same time, breaking himself even further yet also fixing something in the contradictory process. Shaking his head, he pulled back and ended up backing himself straight against the General's hard chest, which in turn earned a squeak from him. A _squeak_. Immediately berating himself, Cloud lifted his eyes to look up at him, his mouth already running off on a rushed apology before he himself had even realised it was doing so.

"-orry, sir, I was simply curious and you were busy.." Trailing off, the boy blushed and lowered his eyes, feeling ashamed of himself in more than one way. When had he become this bumbling idiot and more importantly, when had Sephiroth gotten this tall? Looking up at him, he found himself almost a foot shorter than the silver-haired man and that was disconcerting. He could have sworn he had been taller, but then again, he might have only remembered the good old days when the only things he had remembered were his own memories.

"I was simply going to inform you that your appointment is in five minutes. I'll be taking you there now," Sephiroth finally replied after a moment of silence once he had Cloud's attention again.

"Oh. I.. t-thank you, sir," Cloud replied in a mutter, drinking the rest of his coffee and then for a while he was indecisive before he made his way into the kitchen and placed the cup into the sink before he walked back into the living room, watching Sephiroth. Everything was fine, until the man appeared with his sword and Cloud felt like he was going to have a heart attack, his eyes widening as he realised how unarmed and weak he was, having absolutely no possibility of going against that man in anyway. He might have beat him before, might have beaten his clones too, but at the same time he had been stronger, infused with mako and carrying the skill set of both himself and Zack. This situation that he was in at the very moment was a very great disadvantage and he did not like it in the slightest.

Though when the Masamune was slung onto the tall general's back and he paid no heed to the impressive sword anymore, Cloud was forced to drop his guard, lest he wanted the man to completely question his sanity and have him flung out on his ass without a moment's notice. Blissfully unaware to the fact that Sephiroth had in fact noticed that horror, hate and all those conflicted emotions before he had sheathed the impressive sword. Usually he did not carry it but apparently, Genesis and Angeal had wanted to spar with him.

Without a word from either of the parties, Sephiroth gestured the trainee out of the front door and to the elevators, quickly pressing the button once they were in and going down. Apparently the fact that the General had used his keycard before going into the elevator made it so that they went straight to the Science Research Division, making Cloud's skin crawl the closer they got. Flashes of the time he had spent inside that lunatic's test tubes, swimming up to his eyeballs in mako, filled with that horrible pain.. It made him shudder as he stepped out of the elevator, his eyes taking in the unfamiliar setting. He had never been there properly, after all the standard mako-suitability test were done in the medical facilities that were adjoined with the infantry's quarters. But now, he almost couldn't shake the sense of absolute terror as he was walked down the pristine corridors.

He must have been showing some of his rather deep concerns on the outside by the way of shivering, because his next heart attack was caused by the heavy hand on his shoulder, making his head snap so quickly his neck hurt and his fingers itched to get rid of the touch. But it was only Sephiroth. Only? And when had his touch become soothing once Cloud got over the initial shock. And that was truly what threatened to short circuit his thoughts as he looked up at the tall man, blue meeting slight amused green.

"Steady. Just this way. You will be taken to your room once the dosage has been given," he spoke in that wonderful steady voice of his that was making Cloud feel surprisingly happy and calm. And then he realised that he was staring and he blushed even deeper, biting his lower lip.

"Thank you, sir," the blonde finally managed to wring out, offering a somewhat hesitant smile.

"Call me Sephiroth."

"... thank you, Sephiroth."

He had never said the man's name in anything but hate or fear, or complete adoration yet here he was, repeating that name and rolling it off his tongue as if he was tasting it. He didn't even realise he was doing it, looking up at him with some kind of fearful adoration but at the same time, there was almost a level of seduction to him. However then he was facing a door that slid open to reveal the infamous professor on the inside and he felt like fighting, his entire body tensing as that hideous turned around to watch him with those horrible eyes of his.

"Cloud Strife, sixteen, of Nibelheim origins, male, some mako already in bloodstream.. Interesting. Bring it in, Sephiroth. I believe you remember you are due for a visit in a few days?" That voice sent disgusted shudders down Cloud's back and it seemed that the General behind him was not faring any better when it came to feeling about the professor. Both of them seemed almost hostile, but even then, Sephiroth quite firmly guided him to the examination table once he noticed that he was resisting. After all, he would have to go through this to get anywhere in SOLDIER and that in itself made him required to do this. Besides maybe, maybe Hojo wouldn't be that horrible in this, not when everything else seemed somewhat better. But when he was on the examination table and sudden restraints came around his ankles, wrists and waist, he bit back the growl and clenched his jaw.

"Now.. to begin. Sephiroth. Leave."

Opening his eyes enough to see Sephiroth, he was surprised to see him watching him and there was an expression of understanding and it was in that moment that Cloud realised that he wasn't capable of masking the terror from his eyes and that the General knew just what it was that he was feeling. Closing his eyes, turning his head, he concentrated on staring at the ceiling once he opened them again. His fingers dug into his palms as he simply waited, quivering as the professor swabbed his skin, the hypodermic needle sinking into his vein and with the peripheral cannula in place, he took out a large syringe that held the eerily glowing green fluid. A hiss left from between his lips as the fluid was pushed into his vein and it took a while for the pain to settle in.

As the burning started from the inside out, he couldn't hold back the whimpers, let alone the cries that tore from his throat as it burned through him. Struggling against the bonds, the to-be SOLDIER could do nothing, waiting for the blissful darkness to surround him but until then, no one heard his screams.

The Shinra Company's sound-proofing was simply something else.


	4. CH4 For a moment

_**Author's Note:**_ Apparently I have muse and thus I have these updates flying out in rapid succession, but I'm warning you, during the week I'm gonna be stuck at work and most likely beyond tired, so don't get used to this, alright? And oh yeah, this chapter has the first bits and pieces of Sephy and Cloud action and and and yeah. Just read on.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

There had never ever been any positive side effects to mako treatments, especially not in the few hours following them. After injection, the newbies were kept under surveillance for a few hours to make sure that the mako didn't literally burn them from inside out if the results of the mako suitability tests had somehow failed. With the subsequent thrashing and pain succeeding enough for the patient to be out of it and still whilst being so, they were usually taken to their dorms to rest the effects off. However that usually ended up with many of the trainees sweating through the night, seeing nightmares, being aggressive and generally simply being in blinding pain. In the morning, they were as good as new and found that they could lift the sword a little bit easier, move just a little bit faster, hear and see everything a bit clearer.

Cloud was truly waiting for the part where the pain would clear away, because waking up to the feeling of being run over by a herd of stampeding chocobos was never a pleasant one. His mouth was dry, he couldn't flex his fingers without his right ear feeling like it was going up in flames and he could feel the fever still burning through him, coupled with the horrible memories of experiments done to him ages ago. A small, pleading whine left his lips without permission and he would have jumped out of his skin at the feel of the cool glass on his lips and the hand holding his head up had he had the energy to do so.

Relinquishing in the ease that fell over him as he could relax and instead of panicking simply let the person making him drink do as they wished, he let out a soft sigh as he was placed back on the pillow. Blinking those tired blow eyes open, he immediately noticed the astonished look in the green eyes above him and he couldn't help but wonder why he was yet again at such ease when he had the mighty General hovering above him. Had he known that his blue eyes were glowing much stronger than they should have been for one that had been gotten his first mako injection, he would not have found himself all that curious about the puzzled look in those eyes before the feeling was masked quite carefully and the man over him moved away from his vision. Somehow that made him feel even more anxious and he felt the urge to sit up and try to figure out just why he was here. He'd realized that the mattress was too firm to have been the one he had woken up this morning and the sheets underneath him were of too high quality to be Shinra issued.

Forcing himself up to sit, the blonde grit his jaw, ending up almost doubled on the bed as he braced his head on his hands. There was something telling him yet again that he couldn't stay, needed to stay alert, be able to work through the pain and focus yet again, be fit to find cover. Of course, those were absurd thoughts considering he was in no immediate threat, only for him to realise just who had just given him water and helped him drink. Blue eyes widened and for a while, he rubbed his eyes and finally got them to focus enough for him to be able to actually look around the room, his brow furrowing slightly as he tried to figure out just where he was, only to freeze as he saw the wall mount for a rather large sword. His mind was quickly telling him to stop panicking as it was in no way appropriate for the Masamune and thus, it could only be Zack's room that he had been put in.

But why?

If he had stood out in anyway.. well, that was horrible to begin with! But to have the powerful trio and their loyal puppy already paying attention to him was almost too much for the man, fingers threading into blonde hair as he tugged on them, forcing himself to breathe, to calm down and not flip out. He hadn't exactly remembered that he had been prone to some degrees of anxiety attacks when he had been younger but as he sat there, he found himself fighting one of those devils down. It was an odd feeling to fight down one of the demons of old, but slowly, the attack subsided and he was left in relative ease to simply breathe, his thoughts finally piecing back together, the pain subsiding enough for him to stand up. His boots were somewhere and the thicker, sleeves turtleneck had been removed and thus left him in the white wifebeater and light blue trousers of SOLDIER. A soft sigh left him as he looked down at himself, noticing just how scrawny and without muscle he was. He would truly have to do something about that but then again, he also knew that the mako would start working quickly, helping him in buffing up. He hoped that that happened sooner rather than later.

Pushing himself to his feet, he hissed as the absence of socks also became obvious and for a moment, the cool feeling sent his precarious situation into an even more confused state, all kind of messages coming from his body and he simply couldn't do anything about it. For a moment he swayed on his feet, drawing in quick breaths before he forced himself to relax yet again, slowing down his respiration and aiming to relax before he blinked his eyes open yet again and gave yet another look around the room. Walking to the door, he decided he might as well face the music and pushing the door open, he felt quite disoriented with even the low lights momentarily only for his brain to smack into the next wall of slight shock that rose a deep blush onto his cheeks.

Zack and Angeal were involved in one heated liplock on the couch, with the smaller straddling his mentor's hips and Cloud found himself unable to say anything. In fact he stared, then let out the most unmanliest little squeak of embarrassment and retreated into the room as quickly as he could, managing to close the door almost softly before he fell flat on his ass as vertigo struck. His poor, poor head was in for a loop and for a few moments, he felt beyond disoriented. Zack had Aerith. Had had her? Now.. now he was with his mentor and that seemed quite suitable, however at the same time, it also made him wonder whether the flower girl had anyone to send her letters to, tell that special someone her wishes. In a way, it was an oddly melancholy though and he absently reached to his arm to brush over the spot that had had the red tie before. The absence made him feel like something was missing.

A soft whine left him as he shifted enough to sit with his back against a free wall and pulling his knees up enough for him to hug them, he settled his forehead onto them and let out a deep sigh. There was really no proper way for him to get his thoughts in order, not when he wasn't quite sure how to start sorting them out. He hadn't been able to do anything proper for the entire time he had been awake in this universe and it was finally taking its toll on him, the inactivity making his mind want to make flips as he didn't know what to do with himself. Even with the pain coursing through his body, he was determined to work through it and with a soft whimper, he pushed himself up, yet again needing to regulate his breathing so that he wasn't panting, standing there, refusing to reach for the wall behind him to get any support. He could feel the anxiety yet again and he wanted to punch something.

".. are you alright?" Came the sudden, amused tone of one silver-haired General, taking in the sight of the mess of a human that Cloud was at the very moment.

"No. I can feel that damned mako coursing through me, I just saw Zack and Angeal kissing and that's not what happened and I also need something to do. Give me something to do, please?" His voice was rushed, more laboured than he wanted it to be but given the General's reaction, it had the wanted effect.

"You are in no shape to be doing anything, trainee. You will stay here and rest, the most you will do is take a shower."

"But you don't get it, Sephiroth, I'm going out of my mind not doing anything!" There was a sense of urgency to the blond's voice and as he looked up at him, his eyes showed his age, showed the turmoil and the hauntedness that came to someone who had been living for far too long, whose mind had been wrung in different directions too many times. There was also the glow of mako in those blue eyes and Sephiroth found himself almost fascinated, walking closer to the man and making Cloud's breath catch in his throat as he backed up against the wall, the cat-like grace of Sephiroth following his receding steps and causing terror to show in his eyes right beside the anxiety.

"I believe I know just what you mean," he said, his voice finding an edge that was almost sultry and it seemed that the tall man hadn't realised that he had just backed up the trainee against the wall, holding him in place with just the light touch of his body.

Looking up at Sephiroth with disbelief, he didn't know in the slightest what to think and he tried to speak, tried to utter any kind of words but instead all he did was gape like a fish. The terror was getting wiped away by the man's strange – and surprisingly sane – presence as was every single stray emotion causing him distraught. He was left with nothing but blank and the feeling of vague safety as he looked up at the the tall figure, not quite knowing what to make of the situation that he had effectively thrown himself in. He was struck dumb, eyes locked with those entrancing green one's, both of them sizing each other up and without either of them noticing Sephiroth had leaned down and Cloud had tilted his head up just slightly, enough for their breaths to mingle and a shiver of arousal to go through the younger of them. Though technically he was older, wasn't he?

"As to you comment about the pup and his mentor, I assure you, it is supposed to happen," purred that seductive voice that was wrecking havoc to any and all images Cloud had ever had of the General and he couldn't help the soft, pleading whimper that left his lips, his teenage body going absolutely crazy at the prospect of being so close to another man. He had never considered looking at men that way but standing here, with Sephiroth so close, it was the only thing he could think about.

"I-it's n-not that.. I.. I."

Thankfully, he was saved the embarrassment of his own mumblings by a pair of soft lips that pressed against his, the touch gentle but at the same time, it was backed by the General and that in itself made it possessive. A tongue flicked against his lower lip and he couldn't help but grant him access, fingers finding the fabric of Sephiroth's shirt – apparently he didn't wear his uniform out of hours – and holding, his entire mind completely blank because of the kiss. The anxiety was gone, his mind was gone and he was quite sure that he had in someway lost it quite spectacularly. When did kissing his mortal enemy even become an option and when was did it become acceptable for it to feel this damn good?

It wasn't him who ended the kiss, it was Sephiroth, pulling back with that slight smug smirk on his lips, those cat-like eyes watching his blushed, panting face quite closely. Cloud blinked his eyes open just to look up at him, the confusion and the numerous questions alight in his eyes. He finally let his eyes move from those eyes, noticing that Sephiroth had pulled his hair back into a pony tail, leaving only a few strands of his bangs to fram his face and in a way, it suited him so very well. He could imagine him in a pair of glasses, but he doubted the perfect weapon would ever require any assistance in anyway.

"A bit calmer now, I presume?" Almost jumping at the sound of his voice, blue eyes concentrated on Sephiroth and he couldn't make a sound, making the man laugh and move away from him. But as the General moved back, Cloud could see the numerous questions in his own eyes, seeing that the man was hesitating, questioning himself why on earth he had kissed a mere trainee, especially since they had had virtually no previous contact apart from a regretful trip to the mad scientist's laboratory. He stood there, watching Cloud until he was quite happy in presuming that he wouldn't fall over before he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Lay down on the bed, I'm casting sleep on you. We have things to discuss about in the morning." The thought of disobeying a direct order from him did not cross Cloud's mind in the slightest in the state that he was in and he moved as quickly as he could back to the bed, looking shy for the smallest moment before he simply had to admit that there was no way he was sleeping the entire night in these trousers. As quickly as he could, he wiggled himself out of the standard issued pants and dove under the covers as well as his messed up body allowed, he hoped to hell that the man hadn't noticed the rather embarrassing red and white chocobo underwear that he had on. Why he would have anything but black boxer briefs, he did not know, but it seemed that the universe simply wasn't on his side.

"Good night, Strife."

"... Good night, sir."

And with that, Cloud was out. In the few moments of falling to sleep, he muttered a curse at the man for having cast Sleep on him, but he couldn't fight it, not when he was this tired and for the first time, his sleep was actually peaceful, with the lingering feeling of a smooth pair of lips teasing his senses still.


	5. CH5 You make me feel

_**Author's**_** Note:** You all better love me. I'm losing my precious hours of sleep because I wrung this out for you guys! :D

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

Waking up disoriented was becoming quite a normal occurrence for cloud, not to forget that he still abhorred it every single time that it happened. A soft growl spilled from his pale pink lips as he glanced over at the clock and could feel the first positive feeling going through him in the span of the past few days. His internal clock had seemed to kick into gear and he was up in time to actually make it to his classes. Sitting up, he also noticed happily that he wasn't in the slightest disoriented or tired. He felt quite strong to tell the truth and as he stood up, he found that every single bit of his strength had returned with some extra, even. He could feel the mako going through his veins, could feel the way it was infusing into his cells to make him more powerful, more… Just more. He had to admit, however that he wasn't too certain as to whether he liked the feeling or not, realizing that it reminded him of times that had not been this easy, this relaxed, not to mention this sane.

Doing a few experimental stretches to see whether or not things were actually looking up, he let out a soft, sated sigh before he located his clothing – which was oddly enough nicely folded on a chair – and walked over to them, pulling on the light blue trousers and making sure they fit just right on his hips, before he took the sleeveless turtleneck and pulled it over him, tucking it into his trousers before pulling up the suspenders on the trousers and putting on the wide belt. The gloves were in his back pocket, as was usual and he decided those could wait. After all, it would be odd to walk around their apartment in complete uniform, right?

In thought, one of his hands ghosted over his midriff, a soft frown pulling at his lips as he missed the weight of First Tsurugi's sheath, as well as the weight of the pauldron on his left shoulder. It felt simply wrong but it wasn't as if he could do anything about it. A soft sigh left his lips as he pulled on his boots, lacing them up with the care of a perfectionist before he deemed himself ready. Moving to the door, his hand was already on the handle, cool skin meeting smooth metal only for him to remember one crucial detail of the previous night. Sephiroth had kissed him.

Blue eyes widened and the man simply froze for a moment, his mind replaying the events, his senses all too happy to replay the smooth feel of those lips against his and the way it had sent his entire body into overdrive. He had never been too much of a sexual being, to have been perfectly honest, his childhood and the short trip to Nibelheim with Sephiroth and Zack having ensured that his teenage and early adult years had been anything but opportune for any kind of development on the sexual field. Then of course the trauma had pushed it back and he was quite hesitant to admit that he had never lost his virginity. It didn't matter all that much to him but it was still somewhat embarrassing to admit to anyone, not that anyone had ever asked. But that kiss with Sephiroth had awakened that long hidden desire and even now, his body was reminding him that it was most certainly interested of said attentions.

An annoyed hiss left him and he banged his forehead a bit louder than necessary against the door, a growl leaving his lips as he rolled his shoulders, focusing to clear his mind and will that annoyingly spontaneous erection away. He was coming to realize that his hormones would be the key issue when it came to him learning to be in this new time. He'd never been given the chance to actually work with his hormones and it seemed that the Planet had decided that he had shirked the duties of facing those pesky things for far too long and it seemed his hormones had risen up to the challenge.

Once he felt that he had calmed, he finally made his way out of the room, needing to get into the presence of other's just to keep his mind from racing as much as it did when he was alone. However the living room area was empty, the only thing that brought life to the room was the scent of coffee wafting from the kitchen and it made him feel somewhat curious as to why it would be so quiet if someone was awake. Walking over to the confusion, the one thing he hadn't expected was to find the General standing there shirtless in a pair of loose, black satin trousers that hung precariously low on those slender hips. Cloud's hormone-riddled mind was quite happy to make his eyes travel over the side view that he had as the man was reading something in the tablet computer, fingers idly flicking on the screen. When he looked up to look at the blonde, Cloud realized idly that he was wearing glasses and that added to the piercing quality of those bright green eyes.

"Good morning, Strife." Why did his voice have to be slightly husky, making it clear that he had just awoken as well? And why did he have to look at him like that? Never before had Cloud been as happy to be fully dressed than now, knowing that if he had had any fewer clothes on, he couldn't have resisted the urge to push up against him. And with those thoughts came a deep blush onto his pale cheeks, which in turn caused a very teasing grin to appear onto the General's lips.

"M-morning, sir," he muttered, hoping that his voice would have sounded at least a bit stronger. Without another word, the tall man poured him a cup of coffee, a brow rising slightly as he took a gamble, giving the cup to the blonde without adding anything to it.

"Thank you." Why did he have to get everything right and more to the point, why did he have to grin in that self-satisfied way that made him want to roll over and do whatever he asked? However, with the hot cup of coffee he had something to focus on and focus he did, right after slinking his way around the table so that there was the table between them. He needed space to think and Sephiroth realized it, the smirk on his lips turning even more devious. Did that man truly have to be able to read his emotions that clearly from his eyes? It seemed that in this life, they were quite a bit more in tune with each other.

A soft grumble left him, only for him to hiss as he managed to burn his tongue on the liquid and he simply let out a deep sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. Apparently his morning was determined to take a nosedive after the positive wake up he had had and that did not make him happy in the slightest. He wanted that happy feeling back.

"I take it you have class today, yes? What do you have first?" Came that voice from the other side of the kitchen.

"Uhm… yes. Apparently we're going to see just what kind of weapon every trainee has a knack for and then… then I think one of the Second Classes will have a field day yelling at us to run faster and do more push-ups," he muttered in response, his voice somewhat dry at the mentioning of the Seconds. After all, they would be drilled that very day and he knew it would be hell.

"Ah… I believe I will be there to supervise. See if there are any hopefuls for the mentorship program," he replied in turn, his eyes on the tablet however it was clear that his attention was mostly on the blonde in the kitchen.

"As in… getting trained underneath a higher class member?"

"Indeed. Mainly first's. Angeal's progress with Zack has been phenomenal and thus, Heidegger apparently thought it would be worth a try to find pairs that create a similar kind of dynamic."

A thoughtful nod was Sephiroth's only answer as Cloud thought it over, having to admit that Zack had become rather brilliant when it came to his abilities. Of course, his personality was also something that suited the whole idea and Cloud had to wonder if he would be a candidate. Then he wondered whether Zack had been bumped to First already or not, but he deemed that would have been an inappropriate question. After all, he doubted he should have known anything beyond knowing that the General would be there to oversee their practice.

Finally, silence settled over the kitchen, with the tall man concentrating on what Cloud could only presume were reports, whilst the teen concentrated on his coffee. It actually felt nice and for the first time, Cloud's warnings had been completely silenced and he didn't even feel in the slightest afraid of the imposing figure looming so close to him, but he decided that might have been because the man was shirtless and barefoot. Not that his body complained at all, his eyes particularly liking to steal quick glances at him. He tried to stop himself from looking but he simply couldn't, not with that pale skin practically begging him to look at it and he wanted to touch him. However, Cloud deemed that the kiss the previous night had been a mistake that the General had only used a very unorthodox method of getting him to calm down sufficiently for the Sleep to produce a proper slumber instead of a forced one. Yes. That must have been it.

Downing the last of his coffee, he stared at the bottom of it for a while, dreading the fact that he would have to go past the tall man to get to the sink, however he steeled himself. Walking over to the sink, he was careful not to touch the man even if he could feel those sharp eyes watching his every move, that attention centering on him yet again and as he rinsed the cup and turned around to walk away, there was that man, cornering him against the counter. Blue eyes widened as he looked up at him, looking very much like a deer caught in headlights as the man ever so slightly pushed him back, holding him in place as those green eyes watched him.

"If you wouldn't mind waiting for me to get dressed before you leave I would be quite grateful," the silver-haired man almost purred as he lowered his head slightly, smirking as Cloud's lips parted to let out a soft pant. After all, the blonde had a half-naked man almost pressed up against him. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to even think properly?

"I don't want to be late," he rushed out, looking up at the General with wide eyes, hoping that the sense of duty would get the man to end his assault and with the way a silver eyebrow rose and a very amused expression colored his face, it worked like a charm. Cloud almost let out a sigh of relief as he stepped back, even as his body was rebelling, telling him to grab him and pull him close, get him to kiss him again, simply to touch him and to make him forget all about everything like he had done before. In that moment, he was happy to have learned to control his own body as well as he had.

"Indeed. Give me a moment."

And with that, the man was gone and Cloud could slump right where he was, a soft gasp leaving him as he gave himself permission to relax, to finally stop feeling so damnedly timid like a shy school girl stuck with her largest crush. That wasn't a pleasant thought in the slightest and it made him growl softly, rubbing his temples even as he reached back to take his mug and drank a glass of cold water, just to settle his nerves. Oh, it would be hellish to be in an elevator with him again. To have him so close and for the first time, he almost wished other people would be on it, even if his motion sickness always seemed to get worse when there were a lot of people. The thought of motion sickness suddenly reminded him of the fact that he had not felt nauseous at all the last time he had used the elevator with Sephiroth and that was yet again, quite disconcerting.

What was happening to his mind? It seemed like the calm, collected swordsman was gone, replace by the erratic, bumbling idiot of a teenager and that did not appeal to Cloud in the slightest. A sigh left his lips as he pushed off of the counter to make his way to the living room, simply pacing, unknowingly starting to almost go through a few katas simply to pass time.

Apparently, it did not take Sephiroth all too long to get dressed, for he soon came out in the uniform of his, with Cloud feeling quite a bit tenser now that he was in full gear. He looked too much like the man that had betrayed him and wounded him, but it wasn't as if he could do anything about it other than bear it. Without saying a word, he made his way to the door and waited, almost feeling the amused aura of the man as he followed him, opening the door and letting them out into the corridor and then to the elevator. And yet again, they were in close proximity but this time, it was only the elevator; however it was enough to have him blushing deeply.

"Your file mentioned your hero worship concerning me. I would assume you would have asked me numerous questions by now, trainee."

The question caught the blonde off-guard and for a moment, he looked to be at a complete loss before he bit his lip. He had forgotten about that aspect of his teenage years. He hadn't remembered that Sephiroth had been the one reason for him to aspire to become SOLDIER and he had also been the one he had almost worshipped. He vaguely remembered a life-sized poster on his wall in Nibelheim and he couldn't help but shake his head with a dry laugh.

"That… Things have changed since then." For once, his tone was steady, telling the silver-haired man that he was in no mood to discuss it further and it almost surprised him when the General let it go with a nod of his head, saying nothing and yet again, they became silent.

The silence was broken by the 'ding' of the elevator as they arrived on the floor and Cloud made a move to get out of the metal box only to have himself halted by Sephiroth's hand on his shoulder.

"You do not have special privileges, Strife."

"I wouldn't dream of it, sir."

And with the hold loosened on his shoulder, Cloud almost stiffly move out of the lift and aimed his steps towards the gym. A lot of the trainees were already inside and he slipped in with a bunch of others, with them lining up. He could already feel a sense of serenity settling over him as he had to admit that this was getting into the territory that he knew. Especially when the Second Class that was drilling them ordered them into line and to start mimicking katas after him, he finally felt in control.

He didn't even realize the effortless ease with which he was flying through the katas, completing them with the teacher instead of copying him, nor did he notice the dark looks cast his way.


	6. CH6 And I need you

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

The drilling had been nothing short of a wonder when it came to Cloud's state of mind. With how anxious he was, he had completely forgotten about possibly needing to downplay the skills he already had. Many had given him rather long looks, what with him not mimicking the lieutenant but instead he was performing every move in perfect synch and with almost more finesse than him. It was odd in a way, but Cloud did not mind, in fact it hadn't taken him long to have closed his eyes to do all of this, having decided that he needn't see anything that the others did. He knew exactly what the tempo was, listening to the SOLDIER's feet as they moved on the floor, pinpointing his senses on the supposed educator though soon, he was considering him more of a training partner than an actual instructor. Sure, when a command rang through the air he snapped to attention and gave him twenty push-ups but other than that, he did not consider them different or unequal in anyway.

As the warm up was concluded – with some of the rookies looking almost dead on their feet already – Cloud could feel a pleasant warmth in his muscles, a slight sheen of sweat on his skin even as his mind was buzzing with the possibilities of the things he would be asked to do. After all, they were supposed to be seeing what would be their areas of expertise and even if Cloud knew exactly what it would be – after all, his previous party had tried teaching him to use their weapons but they'd always given up. Sure, he had the necessary finesse and agility for numerous amounts of weapons, but nothing quite fit his hand like his beloved broadswords. At the thought of broadswords he had felt a heavy pang of longing for the fusion sword that he had been forced to leave behind but that was soon forgotten as a few more Second's – as well as the random First – came into the hall with different weapons, taking the small group of rookies into their 'gentle' attention and soon enough, Cloud had had a staff, a gun and a pair of knuckles on him, with the Second looking at him like he'd grown another head as it became evident that he had had some kind of minimal training in all of them. Cid would have beaten the SOLDIER teaching him if he had seen just how he was holding that staff.

As the first sword was brought to him, he couldn't help but smile as he took hold of the hilt, running his hand over the smooth blade. It was more like a katana than anything else, even different from the regular-issue swords, but apparently Shinra wanted to find someone who could be taught by the General. It was almost decided then by the man that was evaluating him that this slender sword would be his choice before the Shinra-issued sword was placed in his hands, the bulkier form of it making him smile and immediately, his stance shifted. Sure, his muscles were already aching from having tried all of those weapons and getting tried with them, but as the sword was placed in his hands, he immediately held it like it was a broadsword. That was the beauty of these swords, they could be handled like a broadsword even if they lacked the necessary bulk, but they could also be handled much like a katana if that was the wish of the wielder. As he was ordered through a few paces, he almost laughed at how easy it felt, how natural it felt to wield the blade. He could feel his other hand itching for another, just so he could mimic the First Tsurugi's fighting style, but he settled for what he got.

He hadn't even realized as the hall had quieted, everyone watching the small blonde, the runt of the group, wielding the broadsword with accuracy and an almost loving touch. Even the Second watching him seemed puzzled by the display but with a huff, he decided that it would be that sword and then larger one's once he built up his strength. A quick smile curled Cloud's lips and just as he was about to realize that everyone was staring, into the gym came bursting a tall figure and as his attention snapped to him, he couldn't help but look a bit amused. It was Zack, with that familiar bounce in his step that signaled how he was excited about something. He was mildly amused as he was the target towards which he steered himself, however the closer he got; the more Cloud was reminded of the mental image of him with the dark Commander. A blush rose onto his cheeks, only for Zack to fling his arm over his shoulder and almost pull him into a headlock, making Cloud let out a rather exasperated sound as he had to bend as the man dragged him along.

"You get to be my student, Spiky!" Came his excited voice, a bounce to his step as he dragged the rookie after him.

"Zack... let go," he mumbled in return, hearing the few snickers that were going on in the gym.

"Why didn't you tell me you obviously know your weapon? Could have saved you the trouble of this whole thing!"

"I… Uhm. I didn't want to be a special case," he muttered in response even as he yanked his head from the hold it was, feeling somewhat dizzy for a moment, what with having yanked his head quite furiously out of his hold. "Besides... it wouldn't have been fair."

Zack blinked, tilted his head and then just laughed straight in his face.

"Come on Chocobo! We're going to celebrate and then I'm taking you to the obstacle grounds to run you to the ground!" It was almost disconcerting how happy the man could sound about that, seeming more than a little happy about the thought of taking the rookie to the training grounds and Cloud didn't doubt for one second that he wouldn't be run to the ground. From what he had learned about Zack, he did everything with his full effort put into it. It was almost annoying in a sense, as Cloud knew that he was already in a rather tired condition and just the thought of needing to do more almost made him want to come up with a very lame excuse about having a headache or something of the sort. But it was that damned wide, excited smile on his lips that made Cloud break, smiling slightly as he nodded.

"Besides. I think you should come live in the apartment with me and Angeal and Genesis and Sephiroth! I mean… I'm not uhh… using my room, so you could have mine." Was Cloud seeing things? Was Zack honestly blushing when he mentioned him and Angeal? He couldn't help the soft laugh and smirk at the thought of Zack actually feeling a bit embarrassed about admitting that to him.

"Yeah… I saw. You and Angeal I mean," he said with a slightly crooked smile. Then he actually thought about whether he should move in with the three and it seemed that his hesitation was obvious, because Zack rushed to speak.

"Think about that later, alright? But now, I'm going to make you beg I hadn't chosen you!"

* * *

Zack actually made good on that promise.

Once he was finally given the permission to stop, he practically tumbled to the ground and stayed there; panting and feeling quite happy he hadn't eaten anything before, since he would have thrown it up anyway. Every single muscle in his body was screaming at him, telling him he'd overdone it and he could only agree. Zack had made him run more than a few miles as fast as he could, almost jogging beside him, constantly pushing him to go faster before suddenly leading him to an obstacle course to go through that as well. Climbing, jumping, crawling, ducking and diving, it had been beyond strenuous and with that annoying, excited voice in his ear he kept pushing forward and now, as he tumbled down onto the grass, he could hear that heartfelt laughter of his mentor and he couldn't help but smile. It was so familiar and so… fitting.

After all, now he would learn from Zack, instead of leeching everything from his memories.

Pushing himself up, he let out a soft groan as his muscles protested, a soft whine leaving him as Zack pulled him up, this time with Cloud's arm over Zack's shoulders as he took his weight, intent on helping him. The flashbacks that the action caused almost made all the happiness evaporate from Cloud, the reminder of how Zack had dragged him through wilderness just to get away from Hojo and Shinra a bit too much for him so suddenly. But this time, at least he was awake; this time he understood what was going instead of being in the midst of one serious case of mako withdrawal. He hadn't been awake in the true sense of the word, instead he'd been locked in a horrible world of nightmare's, with his body unable to move in the slightest. It had been as if he had been having night terrors, simply not able to move as the monsters came for him.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he realized that Zack had been busy prattling on about something and that he was completely lost, not knowing what the hell he was talking about. For a moment, he closed his eyes just so he could concentrate just to realize that he was busy talking about how they would be doing his materia lessons. Stopping himself from telling the other that he knew how to draw out the magic from the materia, he realized that that might have not been the right way to go about this whole teaching thing. He would be quite happy to play dumb, yes, but he also knew that Zack would soon realize that he did not need anything else but training to get his muscles building, as well as getting him into better shape in every other way. The one thing he had had to admit when training with the weapons, was that even if his mind remembered how to do every single move, they had been somewhat jerky what with his muscles having no idea of what they were supposed to be doing.

Not really listening to Zack, he was happy to be dragged to the apartment, barely able to keep himself from falling asleep. However he knew he would need to stretch, take a hot shower and eat. Not necessarily in that order. A soft groan left him as he was placed on the couch with Zack excitably talking about something – some mission, from the sound of it – yet again, all he could do was lean his head back and delight in the feeling of finally being able to stay still. He was contemplating strangling the black haired youth in his sleep but he decided that it would be quite counter-productive if he thought about his training. After all, he did need Zack to learn the use of the sword. Besides, he would get to see the man in action and that would be wonderful, after all before it had him been in the action, moving like him. Thinking back on it made him feel confused, a headache building in the back of his mind.

What he hadn't noticed was the fact that he had dozed off for a moment, woken up only my Zack throwing a pair of loose trousers and a t-shirt at him, waking him up to tell him to go and take a shower before he ended up stinking the entire couch he was seated on. A growl left the blonde as he pushed himself up, making his way into Zack's room and into the shower there before stripping, hissing at times when his muscles protested to being put to use and it was truly starting to irk him. Once naked, he dragged himself underneath the shower head and turned the water on, delightfully getting shocked as the water was first almost cold, then slowly heated up and almost made him melt underneath the strong spray of water. A soft moan of satisfaction left him at the feeling of the shower and finally, he could start thinking.

To move in or not? Of course… it would be easier when it came to his training, after all, Zack would have the opportunity of waking him up in the middle of the night if he so pleased and from the hidden sadist that had been revealed earlier that day, he knew that that would happen often. But then there was the problem of a certain General. Could he be able to live in close quarters with him when just the sight of that long silver hair and those green eyes had his pulse racing in more ways than one? And what if he came there one day stressed from a mission and ended up triggering Cloud into a rage? It was a possibility, but then again, he knew he wouldn't be able to do anything to him, not in the condition he was in at the moment. A sigh left him as he reached for a bottle of shampoo, snickering as the smell of flowers sprung into the air and he couldn't help but feel amused that _Zack_ would use floral shampoo. Ridiculous if one asked him.

He heard the door vaguely, just before he put his head underneath the spray of water, delightfully deafened by the sound of water running over his ears, making him let out a soft sigh of happiness as he rolled his shoulders and let out a soft sigh. His thoughts yet again drifted to the General and now they concentrated on the way that he had felt pressing him against the counter, against the wall and oh… those lips. Without realizing it his hand had ghosted lower down the planes of his belly, fingers teasing his slowly awakening erection as he couldn't help but try and get rid of the frustration that was caused by Sephiroth, albeit this kind of tension was quite different than anything ever before.

A soft moan left his lips as slender fingers wrapped around his length and stroked, a shiver racing down his back as he braced himself against the wall with one hand, a soft whine leaving him as he languidly teased himself. Soft pants were leaving his lips as he thrust into his hand and with his thoughts concentrate on no one else but him, it did not take long for Cloud to find his release, muffling his moan by biting his lower lip. A shiver raced down his spine as his seed was washed away into the drain, with him still leaning against the wall, his body quivering in the small afterglow and he couldn't help but come across a relatively disturbing realization. He wanted Sephiroth, wanted him more than anyone he had ever wanted before in his life. Blue eyes blinked open, his hand reaching to turn off the shower even as he stood there, shocked.

He wanted to be Sephiroth's, wanted him to be his and he had to admit that for the first time in his long, confusing years; he truly had a crush on someone. He who had saved Gaia more than once was crushing like a young school boy on one of the most powerful men the entire planet held. Speaking of the devil, he simply happened to be standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe and watching him with quite amused eyes, taking in his nakedness and letting just a little bit of the underlying fire show to the outside.

Things just weren't about to get easier for him, were they?


	7. CH7 I'm all yours

_**Author's Note: **_Whoo! Thank you to my readers and my reviewers and those who've followed and favorited and thank you **all** for showing me your support! I've almost become obsessed by the traffic graph, watching it like a hawk and all of that. Anyways, shoo! Read the newest installment! I'm going to head back to bed to sleep a few hours before my evening shift at the stables.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

"What… Why are you…?" Cloud's mind was having trouble actually kicking into gear, what with being faced with the silver-haired General whilst he was naked, just about to step out of the shower. How long had he been standing there, watching him anyway? He was slowly starting to realize that it seemed like the General had some real issues when it came to realizing person space and he truly, _truly_ wanted to tell him how immensely inappropriate this was in every single possible way. What with the surprise, it seemed that his teenage-mind had not kicked in just yet, leaving him blissfully with only the personality supplied by him by another life.

"I heard from Zack that you might be moving in." And it didn't even look like Sephiroth cared that he was half-naked in front of him and Cloud couldn't exactly pinpoint whether that annoyed him or not.

"Well if I can't even take a shower in peace without you showing up them I'm not quite sure it'll work out." His voice was steady, calm and in many ways far older than what everyone thought him as, his voice not showing any of the confusion that was flooding through his body. Why did he keep coming close, demanding his attention and getting it so readily from him? Of course, Cloud had admitted to himself that he wanted the General in more ways than an idol, but that did not mean that he could take him simply popping up whenever he wished and causing some great disturbances in his thoughts. But now, whilst calmly reaching for a towel to wrap around his slim hips, he was hoping to all possible deities there were that Sephiroth would for once keep his distance instead come close and _tease_ like he'd been doing every single time that they had been in the same time. Now that he thought about it, it raised rather interesting questions concerning his sexual habits. Just how active was he?

Besides, that smirk on his lips was beyond annoying, finally getting the calm to break and bring forth the annoying teenager in him.

"I simply came to tell you that food is ready. Zack was so very kind to divulge us the information of you having neglected breakfast altogether. You do realize you are not going to build any muscle mass if you do not eat properly?"

Instead of gracing him with an answer – he did not want to give him the satisfaction of hearing a huffy reply – the youth made his way into the bedroom, pushing past the impressive figure in the doorway, determined not to stop even as he practically felt those green eyes on him, studying his every move. It was a good thing Cloud did not look at him, not when there was a very curious look in those eyes, making it clear that the General thought of him as an interesting puzzle, wanting to know what made him such an enigma. What made blue eyes look old and worn in one moment, only to be overcome by the teenage sense of recklessness. Instead, Cloud was oblivious as he couldn't help but drop the towel, walking to the clean clothes on the bed and starting to tug them on.

Apparently, Zack didn't have any small enough underwear for him and he sure as heck wasn't about to put on anything as dirty as the pair that he had been wearing, thus forcing him to pull on dark blue drawstring pants that he needed to pull quite tight just for them to stay on. And even then, they hung low on his hips. A grumble left the blonde as he made to pull on the t-shirt on the bed, only to freeze as he felt that strong presence of the General behind him again, a growl starting at the back of his throat. Why did he have to get so close every single time and why did he not feel the need to run away, to put a considerable amount of distance in-between them? Why did everything have to be so different, making him feel beyond confused and alone with his thoughts? He did not like it in the slightest.

"Have you ever heard of respecting one's sense of space?" He hissed, knowing that if he were to move back a fraction of an inch, his back would touch the General's chest and from what he had seen, he was still in that uniform of his.

"I have. I however know you yearn for my touch, Strife," the man behind him purred, that voice going straight to his loins, making blue eyes practically shoot wide open as he realized that it was true. As he had spoken, he had moved back enough to press his back almost shyly against him, the feeling of him being close causing such a sense of happiness it was almost overwhelming. And with that came a sense of panic, realizing that things were moving too fast for his liking, that he didn't quite know what to think of himself anymore and so, a small sound of distress left him as he pulled away from him, moving away and putting distance between them again. Pulling on the shirt with more force than would have been needed, he drew in a ragged breath, forcing himself to think.

"Don't." He could sense him coming closer, starting to be all too close for comfort again and he fought not to crumble at the feeling of fear that shot through him. He realized he felt far too good, safe and happy when he was close, all those things that he had felt and that had been taken from him. Commitment was something that would not come easily to him and that in itself was a somewhat disturbing thought. How could the others have ever seen him as a proper leader when he was as much of a mess as he was?

"Cloud…" He'd never heard his voice from those lips in such a gentle tone and he looked up almost warily, not having readied himself for anything that would have been remotely tender. Thus, the sight of concern in those green eyes sent him reeling even a bit more and he couldn't help but wonder just how different this world was. Sure, Sephiroth had never been as cold as the press had expressed him as but this was almost too much, this was making Cloud's mind need to rearrange itself a bit too fiercely and it was disconcerting to say at the least.

"What is it that you're afraid of?" Even the question was voiced in a tone that showed true concern, albeit veiled as his emotions usually were.

"You and how different you are," he managed to respond, watching him with those blue eyes, not quite knowing what to do with himself, the presence of Sephiroth almost stifling. How much could one person be afraid of? How much guilt could he bear? If he thought about himself his answer might have been quite depressing to say in the least.

"Yet I'm not," the man said even as he began closing in again, keeping the blonde trapped in those green eyes, not able to move anymore. That statement had thrown Cloud's mind into overdrive, wondering just in what aspects he was different, yet wasn't. It was confusing and for the first time, he could honestly appreciate the sense of calm that the feel of those lips against his brought, a soft, almost desperate sound in his throat as his arms wrapped around the neck of the taller man, molding himself against the strong, lean body against his. The fact that he was so much shorter did not matter to him, not when Sephiroth easily hoisted him up against the wall, pressing him there with his legs wrapping around his waist, keeping him close. Fingers found that silver mass of hair and rand through it, giving a small experimental tug, lips curling in satisfaction as a deep growl left the man holding him up.

The tongue teasing his lower lip was far too adept at making him quiver, the feel of the muscle teasing his own creating a feeling that was almost a shockwave right through him, his body reacting without any hesitance. Arousal curled in his body, making the calm subside and be replaced with something much more restless and impatient than anything before. Unused to the feeling of needing someone in this fashion made it all the more new to him and all he could do was practically cling to the man pushed up against him as they continued their passionate kiss. But sense was slowly kicking in through the back of Cloud's mind, pushing past the arousal, pushing past the part of him that was begging for the man holding him to love him, to keep touching him, to need him like he needed him. It had always been like this, they had always been drawn together but not in this ferocity. It felt right, however.

With a soft whimper in the back of his throat Cloud pulled back from the kiss, resting his head back against the wall, soft pants leaving his lips as glowing blue eyes met green. Licking his lips almost nervously, his fingers still tangled in that gorgeous hair, he couldn't find it in himself to say anything for a while, the two studying each other with barely any distance between them and it felt better than anything else ever had. Leaning in closer, this time it was Cloud who kissed him, yet he did so softly and with no rush, practically teasing their lips together slowly, smoothly before he pulled back with a slight smile on his lips.

"If you want me, you need to go slow," he whispered against his lips, nipping his lower lip lightly, only to smooth the hurt away with a kiss. He could feel the evidence of the General's own arousal against him and he couldn't help but feel quite satisfied with himself. He'd managed to break the iron will that the man had over himself and that in itself made him feel quite satisfied with himself.

"And who are you to give me orders of any kind?" The dark voice had found an edge of steel to it but at the same time, those green eyes showed that he wasn't about to pull rank over him, force him into something he most certainly wasn't ready. It took a moment of thought from Cloud's part, wondering how to respond to the question only for him to laugh softly.

"I know you feel drawn to me in a way you can't quite describe," he said softly, watching those eyes carefully just to see whether there was any hesitance in them but as he saw that his expression did not change, Cloud had his reassurance. "I feel it too." His voice was barely a whisper as he kissed him again, not quite able to keep his hands – or lips for that matter – off of him and what with Sephiroth quite happy to go with his plans, he didn't think he had any complaints either, not when they felt so good together. Like they belonged.

And then Cloud's stomach woke up and let out a rumble that was beyond loud, making the blonde blush and laugh.

"I really haven't eaten anything," he admitted sheepishly, almost whimpering as the General lowered him down, letting him regain his footing. Somehow, Cloud immediately regretted the loss of intimacy, wanting him close again, not wanting to be so far when he knew he could have been wrapped around him. The amused, short laugh from Sephiroth almost blew him away and he couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I would suggest calming down slightly before going," he suggested with a somewhat amused grin, knowing both of them were beyond aroused by that point and Cloud could only nod in response. However the thought of Zack seeing and laughing did kill his arousal quite quickly and with a grin on his lips, he made his way out of his room. And without Sephiroth's presence there to distract him, his poor shape was brought to his attention as his muscles protested to being used anymore. He knew it would have been more intense if he hadn't had the mako coursing through him but even then, he could feel it.

Making his way into the kitchen, following his nose, he was almost surprised to see Zack cooking up a storm. Noodles, beef and vegetables, fried rice with shrimp and he could have sworn the thing he was doing now was something with chocobo. A brow rose as he seated himself, watching the black haired man moving as if he owned the place and he couldn't help but admit that he had never seen him cook, let alone taste anything that he had cooked. It was a shame, it seemed, considering everything looked like he was some kind of gourmet cook. A bit confusing, but he could deal with it.

"You don't look half dead anymore, Spiky! I almost got worried there, but it's like you just bounce back. A good thing, considering the occupation you've chosen but still. Now tell me, where'd you learn to use a sword like that? And eat before your belly jumps out and starts devouring itself without permission from you!" Cloud was left blinking as suddenly Zack was going on and on about a mile a minute, barely registering all that he was saying – though the fact that he saw a flash of silver from the corner of his eye distracted him - and he could almost feel his jaw dropping as he finally quieted down, watching him quite insistently. And Cloud, not wanting to upset his gracious host, started piling food onto his plate. He suddenly realized just how hungry he was.

"I uhh… had a good friend teach me," he said somewhat evasively, suddenly realizing that he should have downplayed his abilities. Now, he had only raised a lot of questions and he had to admit that telling Zack that he'd been the one who'd taught all of his skills might have not been the right way to go about things. Besides, who would have believed him anyway? Sure, when mako was concerned everything was possible but he still doubted anyone would be inclined to believe him if he told them that he'd come back in time.

"Really? Who? I mean, some of those moves looked like Angeal could've been the one to teach you! Though they were a bit choppy but then again, you don't exactly have the strength to perform all of those maneuvers with that frail body of yours. You should be even sorer, really…" And so, Zack kept blabbing on and on about how he shouldn't have been able and how his skills were almost astonishing and Cloud became more and more aware that he should have downplayed his skills by a whole lot. He could be quite stupid at times, it seemed. With grunts and short answers during his chewing, he managed to keep the excitable First happy, talking and talking, not even pausing as their General sat down, still dressed in his uniform but considering the time it was, he most would head out to his office again.

Cloud realized that this was most certainly something he could have gotten used to. It felt safe and it felt like home.


	8. CH8 To do with what you will

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

Cloud had to admit, the food had been beyond good and listening to Zack happily blabbing on and on about his plans, his hopes for him and all of the other inane things that were going through his mind made the blonde feel more than a little serene. He found himself wondering just how long it had been since he had last heard that voice talking so ecstatically, not tainted by any kind of sorrow or hurt and he could only sadly say that the only place he remembered hearing him this carefree was in the lifestream. It had always been so _wrong_ for the man to have been taken so early and now, having learned that the Turks had been sent to save them but they hadn't been able to find them – he still wondered how on earth it was possible for the Shinra Army to find them but not the Turks – it added to the pain of having lost him for naught. He hadn't even realized how deep in thought he had fallen, blue eyes having become clouded as he simply sat there, almost listening but not quite.

And then a grape smacked him straight in the forehead and he sat up, blinking rapidly, eyes refocusing and his body tensing, as if ready to bolt, only for him to register Zack's laughter and relax again.

"You should've seen your face! Beyond hilarious! C'mon Chocobo brain, no reason for you to be all gloomy. You are under my tutelage and thus you should be rejoicing and announcing it to the whole world!" Zack's face was alight with that wide grin of his and the blonde could only feel the loss he had once suffered yet again. If he had been exactly like this before, then even he had seen a shadow.

"That's a big word for you, Zackary," Sephiroth commented almost dryly, earning a very annoyed huff from the Puppy.

"That's not fair, Seph! Even if you're some hotshot genius, I am capable of using big words, too! I just don't push the big words onto everyone all the time," he muttered, plopping down next to Cloud before concentrating on the task of staring the mighty General down. A soft laugh left Cloud at the ensemble the two made and he couldn't help but shake his head, opting to stay out of the discussion. After all, he didn't exactly want to upset the General – he didn't know what his sense of humor was like, for Gaia's sake! – let alone Zack, who would thus be even happier to drill his ass to the ground the next day.

Sephiroth seemed to opt for a reply of one raised eyebrow and an amused quirk of his lips, clearly questioning Zack's reasoning, which earned him another huff and glare from the black-haired man, even as he started to chomp down his own food, muttering to himself. To Cloud, it almost sounded like growling but then that would have just been more than a little fitting for him. After all, he did have to have some kind of similar traits when compared to a puppy if Angeal had given him that name. And that rose another question in Cloud's head, one that he wasn't quite sure what to make of. If Angeal called Zack a Puppy, then what was he supposed to be? A puppy molester? Cloud blinked at his own thoughts, seeming almost confused for a moment as he yet again roused himself from his thoughts, his eyes turning to watch Zack. That question was almost a bit disturbing now that he thought about it.

…. and did that make Sephiroth a chocobo molester, then?

He couldn't help the quiet snort of laughter, making both Sephiroth and Zack look at him with mirroring expressions of worry, both clearly having decided that he was losing his mind to be suddenly amused in the situation they were in. Which seemed to be glaring daggers at each other and Cloud couldn't help but let out an amused laughter, shaking his head, making his overgrown hair tickle his nose in a rather annoying fashion. He really, truly needed to get it cut.

"If you two would excuse me, I'm rather tired, thanks to Zack. I'm going to go take a nap," Cloud said with a polite nod of his head even as he stood up from his chair, gathering his dishes.

"Wake up at one; we're going to the gym!" Cloud could only groan, letting out a soft sigh. How on this sweet Planet did Zack think he had the strength to actually do weight training still? He was starting to question just how nice he was in the end, what with these ideas of his seeming almost sadistic in nature. At the same time, he realized Zack had most probably been taught the same way and if it had worked the way it had for Zack, then maybe it would make him exceptional as well. Still, he had to wonder how much he would have to downplay himself in the future. After all, he had already shown some skill but he couldn't even quite recall what skills he had displayed and that created a whole new dilemma for him. How was he supposed to convince everyone that he was simply something of a prodigy, without them starting to question whether he had been trained?

Taking the dishes to the sink, he could almost feel those green eyes raking over his form and he knew that if Zack wasn't there and he hadn't told him to go slow, Cloud wouldn't have been left to have this much space for himself. But at the same time, Cloud realized that Sephiroth was physically far away, it felt as if he was close, almost pressed up against him and he couldn't help but wonder just how silly his own mind could be.

Shaking his head, he gave the two a slight smile as he walked back towards Zack's bedroom, hearing how Zack started asking Sephiroth about him. Apparently he had seen him going into his room and then sneaking out, only having pretended to not notice. At the bedroom's door, Cloud was blushing furiously, biting his lower lip as he stepped in and closed the door behind him, a soft groan leaving his lips as he ran his hand over his face. That Zack Fair was going to be the absolute death of him yet in some ways, he rather liked that notion. With a soft sigh, Cloud made his way to the bed, forcing his mind to slowly shut down all impeding thought processes, using a technique he had mastered ages ago when there had been more than one presence in his mind, so that he could actually fall asleep. As he finally toppled on the bed, he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow, his mind and body welcoming the rest.

_Those hands along his slim body, teasing the already sensitive skin, setting his body alive had Cloud gasping for air, arching up into the touch and earning a chuckle from the body on top of him. He wanted to open his eyes, but soft lips kissed his eyelids and told him to keep them shut, even as those wicked hands kept teasing, going lower on his abdomen, teasing the small trail of golden hair only to ghost along the base of his erection, a thoroughly teasing touch before both hands moved over his hips to tickle the underside of his buttocks, making the blonde quiver in excitement and arousal. Those fingers were driving him crazy, especially when the teased down the back of his thighs, only for the man teasing him to settle himself in between his thighs, hands running up the insides of his thighs, making his breath hitch almost painfully as he reached the very top of his thighs, fingers almost touching yet not fully doing so. Another almost tortured whine left Cloud, only to feel the comforting weight of the other hovering over him._

_Almost of their own accord, Cloud's legs wrapped themselves around the man's slim hips, the feel of smooth, silky hair giving him just the right idea of who it was that was playing his body like a fine instrument. Fingers found that cascade of thick hair, tugging slightly as they tangled in it, drawing a very wonderful sounding groan from the man above him as those wonderful lips found his own and made him forget everything. With his eyes shut, the kiss was that much more intense, with him responding just as eagerly, lips molding against each other, parting to allow tongues to duel. It was absolute heaven and Cloud didn't quite know what to do with himself, not when there was a passion raging in him that threatened to make him break that threatened to make him forget everything that had ever happened, threatened to make him feel loved. Without even realizing it, he was giving himself to this man with every single moment the kiss lasted and even as their lips simply lingered a scant few inches from each other, a ragged gasp leaving Cloud as he finally blinked his eyes open, looking up into those green eyes._

"_I've thought of a wonderful present for you... Shall I give you despair?" A sudden, overwhelming pain went through Cloud and he found himself impaled on the Masamune, gasping for breath as he was suspended in the air by the large sword yet again but instead of being able to fight, it was as if he was unable to do anything but stare into those green eyes that had looked so loving just a fraction of a second ago. It hurt. The change truly hurt and it was partly from that that he was gasping._

"_Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away."_

Cloud woke up with a start, a muffled cry on his lips as he sat up, panting as if he had been running a marathon, his thoughts frazzled, confused and completely out of order as the dream ran through his mind over and over again, those words going over and over in his head. Sure, they had been spoken in a moment when he had been confident, when he had known what he was doing and he had been able to defeat the man but out of context, spoken after he had seen the way the man could be, was what truly unsettled him. Everything had been fine until he'd kept his eyes closed, everything had been absolutely wonderfully arousing once his eyes were closed but the second he had opened his eyes and came to the full realization of who it was on top of him, his mind had had the dream-Sephiroth impale him on that huge sword and that did not go down well for the blonde. Putting his head into his hands, he simply gasped for breaths, fingers finding his own hair as they pulled, trying to regain his senses, trying to realize that it had only been a dream, that it hadn't happened and that Sephiroth wouldn't try to kill him.

But what made him so sure? Doubt started swirling in his mind yet again, flashbacks of all the things Sephiroth had made him endure going through his mind so fast he was afraid he was going to have a headache but instead, he had to rush out of bed and throw up everything he had eaten, retching almost violently. He didn't even realize he was shaking, didn't realize that he was clutching the toilet bowl so hard his knuckles were white and most of all, he didn't realize that he was almost about to cry. It was as if his mind was trying to remind him of what always happened when he felt safe, when he felt a place like home. It would be him trying to take it away, him trying to alter it and _him_ trying to make him succumb to silly feelings that could never be anything but hopes and dreams.

Getting up, he stumbled to the sink and turned the water on, splashing his face with ice cold water, slapping his cheeks to get himself to actually focus again and as he turned his eyes to look at himself, he could have sworn he had seen his pupils change into vertical slits, but he put it down to the fact that he was in no shape to be looking at anything. A somewhat pathetic whine left him as he stared straight into his blue eyes, realizing they were glowing more than they should have for a trainee but it wasn't as if he could do anything about it. Yet now, as he stared, he had to question why on earth was he opening himself up like this, why was he giving everyone the easiest opportunity to hurt him? Without even realizing it, he was starting to hole up again, burying his old self behind layers and layers of cold, skeptical thoughts. What he didn't expect was to find a part of him resisting the change. A part of him fought strongly against it and soon enough, he had to give in, not being able to push aside the thoughts of safety. A soft, ragged cry left his lips as he splashed his face again, forcing himself to stay standing, to keep himself together.

He also noticed he needed the silver-haired man then and there yet Sephiroth didn't show.


	9. CH9 And I confess

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

The loneliness was overwhelming as he stayed there, leaning over the sink with a soft whine leaving his lips as he tried to get his thoughts into order. He didn't know just how long he had stood there, with his thoughts an incomprehensible mess, only to be roused out of his jumbled thoughts by a gentle, yet firm hand on his shoulder. He could feel the caring tone of a voice and it took some serious thought for him to realise it was Zack and for a moment, all he concentrated on was the lull of his voice, even if it had a somewhat worried tone to it. Cloud didn't know why he sounded worried, his mind having trouble wrapping around possible reasons only for him to suddenly realise it. Looking up, he noticed his eyes and they were glowing, the blue of them surrounded by an unnatural glow around the very edge of his iris. Well, that would most certainly draw attention if nothing else.

"C'mon kid, snap out of it! Spiky... you're starting to freak me out and I'm a SOLDIER, remember? I'm not supposed to be freaked out by anything," Zack rambled on and on, trying to snap him out of the odd state of mind he had been in. Cloud blinked and he noticed the clear relief that was visible in those sky blue eyes and he couldn't help the small smile that curled his lips, suddenly feeling more than a little embarrassed.

"I uh.. sorry. Had a really bad dream," the blonde muttered almost lamely, looking down even as he could feel those eyes on him. It was wonderful, in a way, to be comforted by the black haired man but at the same time, it wasn't exactly the comfort he was looking for. He knew Zack wouldn't come at him with his sword and skewer him on it without a doubt but of Sephiroth, he simply could not be that sure.

"Suure.." Zack didn't seem at all convinced, watching Cloud quite closely for a moment and in his expression he could see that he was suspecting something a bit more serious. What if the mako had gone and screwed with his head? What if he was breaking and that his mind would be finally going off its relatively shaky tracks? Problem was, Cloud wasn't all that certain that he could say that those things weren't happening to him without lying. His mind was still a mess, a thousand thoughts running about and colliding together, not really making sense even as he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to get his thoughts in some kind of order.

"Could we go to the gym now, Zack? I'd like you to work me to the ground again," he then said with a slight, wry smile on his lips, making the black haired man look a bit worried only for him to nod, having to admit that he usually did get Angeal to beat any kind of mindless self-pity out of him. Cloud smiled almost gratefully at the affirmative nod, a soft sigh of relief leaving his lips.

"Those clothes are fine. Now c'mon! It's bound to be empty so I won't get any weird looks beating a trainee about!" The taller of the two then suddenly said, going right back to being the loud, happy-go-lucky guy that everyone thought he was. Cloud couldn't help but feel slightly sad, knowing that far too many thought that Zack was never sad, never let anything affect him when in reality that man was one of the most sensitive people around. Watching him now, he didn't even realise just how sad the expression in his eyes was as he watched the fakely energetic and happy man in front of him, noticing the slight crease of his forehead and the tug on his lips, showing that he was very much concerned about him. It was ridiculous, really, considering they hadn't even known each other for that long in this life.

Nodding, he practically shooed Zack out, pretending he hadn't noticed that worried glance shot his way as he washed his face again, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he rolled his shoulders back, stood up straight and forced himself to focus. There was nothing he could do, not with Sephiroth not there and with his mind this frayed because of a stupid dream that was a mixture of then and there, fantasies and the past, managing to confuse him most profoundly. Glancing down at himself, he checked that he was relatively modest and realised almost idly that Zack's clothes hung off of him. He really needed to do something about that and getting drilled to the ground was most likely the best way to get fit. Snapping himself out of the stupor that he was in, he let out a soft sigh as he walked out of the bathroom, out of the bedroom and into the living room, looking just as calm and collected as the best of them.

Zack didn't speak as he led the blonde out, simply thinking that he would follow and Cloud did so, his steps slightly hurried to keep up with the long strides of the dark haired man. He could sense that the man was itching to ask him a load of questions and he was wondering if he wanted to answer all of them. He didn't even really know if he had all the answers, but he could try his best for the man that had saved his life? A soft sigh left his lips as he watched the somewhat stiff back of the man and he simply couldn't help himself.

"Ask away."

Zack almost looked surprised as he glanced back at the blonde, seeming to be quite conflicted for a moment before the smile on his face fell and he watched him with a serious expression. Falling back, he settled down to walk in Cloud's pace, seeming to consider his words quite carefully, as if not wanting to spook the man beside him.

"Why do you look at me like you know me from before? Why are you so afraid?" Those were the two questions that were top most in his head and Cloud almost cursed, knowing he didn't have adequate answers for him.

".. You remind me of someone I used to know," he stated, his voice holding a curiously soft tone to it, showing that it was indeed a rather sore subject to him. After all, telling Zack that he wasn't like the Zack that he had known was a bit.. confusing. "And I.. I'm afraid I will lose everything. I've worked hard, I do not want to have it all crashing down."

The contemplative look on Zack's face made Cloud shut up, those blue eyes studying him quite closely and almost wanting to make him squirm. He felt like an open book in front of the man, knowing that if he spent too much time with him then he would not be able to keep himself from treating him like the long lost friend that he was. The questions were not over, however, and Cloud found himself dreading what he would come up with. After all, he was more than a little smart and that was what frightened him.

"Who taught you?"

"The same one I used to know."

"Why did you suddenly show these skills in the SOLDIER evaluation class?"

"I.. I did not feel comfortable showing my skills before."

"Yet you did not show even the slightest capability or potential towards the moves you made, let alone towards the weapon you chose."

To that, Cloud found himself incapable of saying anything, simply watching Zack with slight alarm in his eyes and the man beside him noticed that he had reached the point of discomfort, yet he wasn't all that keen on backing down. The blonde could almost see the way he was itching to ask a bunch of questions, to dig even deeper. To Cloud the most frightening thing was knowing that if Zack wanted to, he would be capable of drawing out all of the information from him and if he did, he wondered just how much of a lunatic he would find himself considered.

"And your eyes look far older than they should. Like you've seen too much, been betrayed too many times. Yet here you are, watching me like you trust me, where as when looking at Sephiroth, you can't seem to be able to choose between being terrified or completely enamoured." These were clearly something that Zack had mulled over in his head a lot and they were also something that made Cloud feel cornered, not knowing how to explain any of that without exposing himself even further. It was disconcerting, almost making him want to run away and forget all about this stupid dream of ever becoming a SOLDIER but something was still keeping him there, kept him walking towards the gym.

"I've seen too much," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

"You've never once gone anywhere else apart from Midgar and Nibelheim."

And that effectively shut Cloud up, his head snapping to the side, watching Zack with surprise, not in the slightest having anticipated to have been followed when he had growing up in the mountains. The thought almost made him feel claustrophobic and he knew he was running out of options and he was running out of them fast. However, they reached the gym before he could say anything and thankfully, he didn't press on and instead, once they were inside, he took started running him to the ground again, now simply going with weight training, making the blonde sweat in no time. In fact, they most likely only worked for about an hour and even then, Cloud was practically dead as Zack finally called them to a halt and he didn't even realise the way he leaned on the taller man, panting, his arms and legs shaking from the exertion.

"If I told you, you'd think I'm crazy," Cloud finally gasped through his quickened breathing, looking up at him apologetically, the sincerity in his eyes beyond honest and that was what made Zack smile slightly.

"I live a crazy life. I don't doubt your story would make that much of a difference," he said with a laugh and a shake of his head, making a weak smile curl the blonde's lips as he simply wondered what had ever made him worthy of this man's trust. The relief made him sag and he didn't even doubt that he wouldn't be held up, the two of them starting to make their way back to the apartment even as Cloud contemplated whether or not he should have told him all about this entire different universe and reality think. Biting his lower lip, he let out a soft sigh before he glanced around, making sure no one else was there.

"I.. I've already lived this out once. I've seen you die, I've been you and I've been saved by you. That is why I look like I know you," he blurted out, not daring to meet Zack's eyes especially not when he felt him tense and stop, almost feeling as if he would be pushed away and that was the one thing Cloud didn't want, knowing it would be the thing that would hurt the most.

"But that's.. You weren't kidding when you said crazy, did you?" He asked, his voice holding a curious tone to it and Cloud found himself unable to read him as well as he should have.

"No. I was twenty-four and then something.. happened. The Planet happened, I think. Now I'm back here," he said with a soft sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. "I want to be normal, Zack. As normal as one can be in Shinra and SOLDIER. Please, please don't tell anyone?"

The plea was clear as he looked up at the dark-haired man, feeling quite afraid as the man started walking again, not quite knowing what to say only for his thoughts to freeze up even more as he heard those familiar steps behind him. Why oh why now? Had he heard and how much had he heard? He almost let out a whimper, squeezing his eyes shut and he didn't even realise he was gripping Zack harder than what was necessary.

"Tell anyone what?" Came that dark, deep tone of Sephiroth's, making him quiver in an array of mixed emotions.

"Cloud's got it bad for you, Seph!"

Zack grinned, Cloud's jaw dropped and Sephiroth rose an elegant eyebrow, only to smirk. Cloud couldn't help but want to be swallowed up by the ground, even as he realised that Zack had just promised to keep his secret. Whether it was because he thought he had lost it, or that he believed him he did not know, but in any case, he was beyond glad about it.


	10. CH10 Headed into ruin

_Disclaimer:_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

"Oh yes?" Even in his mortification, Cloud couldn't help but feel soothed by the calm, wonderful tone of the silver-haired man's voice. There just was something disconcerting about the way he managed to wipe away his worries.

"Yeah, just told me! I told him it's pretty cute and al-"

"Zack. I do not need to hear you fawning over this trainee, not when he is looking at you like you did him the world's greatest favour." There was a somewhat sharp edge to Sephiroth's edge and it came crashing down on Cloud that the man hadn't bought Zack's cover up. There was a rather acute moment of panic, his mind scrabbling for some excuse, something that would satisfy the man but Zack came to his aid, his ever loyal friend. It seemed time and dimensions could not damage the friendship they had.

"Oh come on! It's not as if he needs to tell you all about the ailments he gets when training with me, now does he? I mean he was just telling me about thi-" This time, it was Cloud that shut the man up with a firm smack. It might have been more convincing if he hadn't been clinging on the man for dear life, his thighs quivering and even this holding on was starting to make his arms want to give out, made him want to drop to the ground and just sleep. Of course some of that elation seemed to be because now, Sephiroth finally backed off from the questions. It was quite clear his curiosity wasn't sated, but he would not pry more, for now. Cloud was quite sure the General was only waiting for a moment when he was alone.

"Anyway now that you're here, how about you take this lump of chocobo back to the apartment? Make sure he gets fed, showered and rested. I'm gonna go see my very own slave driver."

There was an unsettling little wink at the end of Zack's departing words as he all but shoved Cloud to Sephiroth before walking off, his stride a bit more confident and happy than what Cloud would have liked. Except his brain was having trouble concentrating on anything else but the fact that it was pressed up against the man of his desires and said man was holding his sweaty body to him like he weighed nothing. He still hadn't said anything, only kept him standing but slowly, he turned his head to watch him with those green eyes of his.

"Is there anything you wish to divulge with me, Strife?" There was a warning edge to the question and the blonde was forced to swallow, feeling quite nervous.

"Nothing you don't already know," he squeaked, his voice still breathless from the exertion. "Could you just… get me back to the apartment? I stink. For the second time today."

The evasion of the question made the body against his tense but the man obligingly turned around and took him out of the gym, making sure that Cloud was still walking on his own two feet, even if he was leaning quite heavily. Feeling drawn out and quite thoroughly beat up by the fact that he had been pounded into the ground quite many times that day he was all too happy to take all the support he could. Once they entered the apartment, he was expecting Sephiroth to let go of him, to leave him to his own devices but did he ever do as was expected?

Leading him to his bedroom, the General was quick to rid him of his clothes and Cloud found himself far too tired to even object. When had he given permission for the man to be this friendly with him? This man that was proving to be quite different from the Sephiroth his memory kept supplying with him. It was one of the reasons for the constant headache: trying to determine how different he was. Here he seemed to have a sense of humour, a sense of humility and empathy but at the same time Cloud was afraid of seeing the possible change, the possibility of him turning into something horrible at the sight of false documents.

Apparently, he had fallen deep into thought again as he was roused by the cold shower of water, a shriek leaving him as he practically jumped out of his skin. Glaring at the man in front of him, Cloud found himself realising the very real situation he was in yet again. Naked, in the shower, with the General watching him.

"I can wash myself, you know," he said with mild annoyance, to which the General replied with a furrowing of his brow before he shrugged and walked out of the bathroom and subsequently, the bedroom, leaving Cloud alone. The blonde might have sighed in relief, if there hadn't been that small sense of loss to have him leaving, to have him walking out those doors. What if he never came back? What if he went to Nibelheim without him? What if he came back just to kill hi-

A rough shake of his head and a very determined decision to change the water temperature to freezing were used to make him stop that train of thought. An odd stinging always came up whenever he got agitated and it disturbed him, wanting to know the cause but at the same time, he was too afraid to look into the mirror, afraid of what he might encounter, of what he might see in himself. What if all of his miseries hadn't miraculously disappeared?

An exasperated growl left him as he washed himself with fury, digging his nails a bit too hard against his scalp, scrubbing his body free of sweat and grime a bit too violently. But as he stepped out, shivering from the cold water, he felt much better. Reaching for his towel, he wrapped it around his hips and stepped back into the bedroom, surprised to find his very own pair of sweats on the top of the bed and slowly he realised that Sephiroth must have been the one to get him his belongings from the barracks. Apparently, it had been very much decided that he would be moving in and in that very moment, Cloud found that it was the safest way to go. Of course he hadn't taken into account the frequency of his nightmares and the fact that every single person in the apartment slept with a weapon underneath their pillow, waking up at the slightest odd sound.

Drying his hair, the blonde was quick to jump into the clothing, the familiar feeling of his own clothes more than a bit soothing and now that he felt better, he also felt more prepared to meet Sephiroth. He doubted he would ever be able to rid of the cartwheels his heart always made when that small ghost of a smile curled those lips but he could always try to pretend he didn't affect him. No such luck, since the man was in the kitchen, looking very domestic as he was frying something in the frying pan, leaving Cloud feeling like a burden.

"Are you sure I did not disturb any work?" He asked meekly, only to receive a somewhat sharp glance from the man that made him almost scream and run for the hills.

"No. Your fancy of me does not mean I am going to shirk my duties," he replied almost coldly, making Cloud blink in confusion.

Sitting down, the blonde settled down to stare at the General, even as he wondered just what the reason he was getting the cold shoulder was. And then he realised, that Sephiroth seemed to react quite huffily to being left out of the loop and he couldn't help the amused huff. He knew the tall man was intrigued by the sound, but Sephiroth simply couldn't turn around to question him and so, Cloud decided to brave himself. There was nothing to fear in this man. This man was safe, this man made him feel calm and so, he walked up behind him.

"You should stop worrying," the blonde said almost softly, a somewhat tentative hand settling onto his shoulder as he made his way to his side, almost weaselling his way into his arms. "It's nothing. I promise. I might divulge the secrets of my body later but for now, you're just going to have to wait." A few moments of silence followed, only for Sephiroth to finally relax, a soft, almost inaudible laugh leaving him as he finally gave in. Shiva's tits, that had been a gamble but it had paid off. For once, Cloud had gambled with this man and actually ended up winning.

Except of course now that he had the man's attention, there was always the rather awkward situation that put him in. He ached to arch up against him but thankfully, Sephiroth was there to gently push him away from the stove as he turned it off, only to lift him up onto a nearby counter.

The kiss was hasty, impatient, with the eagerness of a new couple and Cloud wasn't quite certain who had started it, but he didn't care, not when calm fell over him yet again. It was almost selfish of him to kiss the man, after all it made him feel almost serene. Albeit the serenity was rattled when those strong hand found their way down his back to his bottom, pulling him closer to the edge so that their hips were touching. A soft gasp left the blonde as their clothed erections brushed against each other and he couldn't help but buck up again him.

So enthralled was he that he didn't hear the door, but what he most certainly heard was the grocery bag dropping followed by a very annoyed and mortified: we make our food on that table!

It was like a bucked of cold water on Cloud and he pulled back, gasping and blushing heavily just to see Zack staring and pointing at them, as if he had never seen a pair of men kissing. Angeal was behind him, hovering, looking more amused than anything else. It seemed that Cloud and Zack were the only ones, however, to feel at all bothered by the situation. In fact, Sephiroth was quite happy to lean down and press a lingering, promising kiss onto his lips before he moved away from between Cloud's thighs, leaving him there to blush and pant softly.

"I gotta say, blondie! You're damn quick in your moves. Just told me you fancy him and now you're eating his face?" Zack's voice had become teasing, the smirk on his lips absolutely merciless and Cloud could only mentally groan as he dropped off of the counter, thanking his feet for having gained some stability.

"Fuck off, Zack," he muttered almost moodily, albeit it was all ruined by the brilliant blush on his cheeks. As he sat down by the table, he could hear Zack whispering something to Angeal, only for the duo to burst out laughing.

Thankfully, Sephiroth chose that moment to slide a plateful of food in front of him, the scent of fried rice, vegetables and beef quite quick in diverting his attention as he began devouring food yet again. He had wondered sometimes just why SOLDIERS got paid so much but now, as he realised the amount of food he so easily consumed, he wasn't in the slightest surprised anymore. Half of that money, minimum, must have gone into food.

He seemed to have gotten lost into his thoughts again, since he jumped as Sephiroth settled beside him to eat as well, only for Zack and Angeal to settle down as well. Apparently Genesis had yet to make an entry but for that, Cloud was quite happy. To him it had always seemed Genesis had been a bit too fixated on the silver-haired General and in a way, it made Cloud feel quite threatened. After all, the man in red was quite a bit more formidable than he was and it was unsettling. Cloud had never thought he would be jealous but it seemed that Sephiroth was having somewhat odd effects on him.

They might have agreed to go slow but Cloud's mind seemed to be hell-bent on plunging him into the deepest pits of despair as soon as possible. There was the real probability that Cloud was falling quite heavily in love with the General. And the reactor in Nibel hadn't even acted up yet.

"Say Spiky… Interested in a mission?" Zack asked, almost conversationally, making Cloud look up at him questioningly. It wasn't exactly a question one should have asked someone that could barely go through basic katas with the standard-issue Shinra sword but he humoured the man, nodding his head slightly, inviting him to continue since Zack looked like he was going to burst.

"Well. There's this mission in Nibelheim-" _Oh Shiva, here we go._ "-and we thought, since you've been so gloomy and all, that you might be homesick!"

"I don't thi-"

"Too late, you're already signed up!"

Cloud's feelings were a mess. He was staring at the black-haired man with somewhat unreadable eyes before he let out a somewhat fake laugh, shaking his head. Of course Zack had signed him up. Why couldn't he have been able to have these moments of ease, these moments of bliss for a while? He tried not to sound defeated as he finally replied, the silence getting too heavy, the entire table waiting for his reply, wondering why he seemed reluctant to leave.

"When are we leaving?"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Soo… I dropped off the grid for a while, but I've decided I'm going to make a comeback! A strong one at that. Or atleast.. I'll try to do so. As always, your reviews are highly appreciated!


	11. CH11 Running from a dream

_Disclaimer:_ I do not any of the canon characters, the places, or anything to do with the FFVII universe, the only thing that is mine is the writing.

* * *

Two weeks until his entire life would come to a screeching halt. Apparently Shinra did not feel that some remote location's alert of there being monsters running about caused any great concern, even if it was near one of their reactors. But then again, said lack of hurry had Cloud back right where he started: in a state of turmoil of knowing too much of what could and would happen.

After that conversation, it had seemed that everyone had noticed that the broody teenager most certainly needed a minute and without question, they gave him the space they needed. Even Zack, even if he was the brashest and most idiotic person in his life, if one asked Cloud. Why would he think that he would enjoy going back home? Why did he have to think in his wonderful little mind that he had any need to see old, friendly faces, to feel useful and then ultimately, be defeated and almost killed. Of course, the last part Zack did not know about but all of the others… Well, he was quite sure getting his mind off of his situation was one of the goals.

It did not, however, ease Cloud in the slightest. He had two weeks to get Sephiroth to be close to him. He had two weeks to get him to trust him, to drill it into his mind that he was human. That he was capable of pain and humanity, but most importantly, that he was no god. No son of an ancient being, simply a human being underneath all the enhancements. He sure had his work cut out for him, especially now that the tall man was suspicious. It had been quite evident in the way he had looked at him when Zack had gone out of his way to protect him and his little secret.

Which brought his mind to another problem. He didn't have the slightest idea what Zack thought about his revelation. Sephiroth had burst in and that had been the end of the discussion and he had been left in the dark. For all he knew, he would end up back in Hojo's lab, getting tested for being a time-traveling freak. Or then he'd just be sent to the psych ward and locked up somewhere remote. A pained groan left him and he decided he needed some sort of an outlet.

Pushing himself off of his comfy bed and walking out of the room, he was glad to notice no one seemed to be home. Letting out a very long sigh at that, he found himself sitting in front of the TV, browsing through the channels idly only to stop at some mindless action movie. Zack and Angeal were out. Genesis was most likely teasing the rookies and Sephiroth… The thought of that manmade Cloud need to close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose. What was up with him wanting him to be around all of the time? Even in that very moment, the blonde wanted the tall man to be there, holding him as they watched some stupid movie together.

"What the f-" Cloud sat upright, his thoughts having caught him straight off guard, staring at the door that he knew led into Sephiroth's quarters. He wanted to be... _mushy_ with the guy? Be like a couple?

Damn this teenaged Cloud was a tough thing to handle, tougher than he remembered it had ever been before. With a groan he let his head drop into his hands, rubbing his temples a bit harder than was probably necessary since it almost made the budding headache worse. Why couldn't things just stay simply? Why did he had to want that man to be his? Why was it that in every single life that he lived, he was always so strongly connected to him, even without the Jenova cells in his body. Of course, he had only lived one life but he was already beginning to see the trend.

A drawn out groan left his lips as he slumped back into the couch, determined to watch the movie, forget about everything and fall into a blissful sleep. And as it was, it did not take long for him to have fallen asleep, slumped somewhat uncomfortably on the large piece of furniture.

_Everything was burning. Every house, every building but the most disturbing of it all were the screams. Screams of pain, of loss and of the certainty of dying. But he was running, he wasn't stopping, just stuck in a mindless pace that sent him forward and made his lungs burn, as if he couldn't breathe. Up the mountainside and into a reactor, seeing the black-haired man getting tossed out, heavily wounded and unconscious. He knows what he will find there and he still follows, still picks up the sword and stabs it into the man's lower back._

_Except now as Sephiroth turns, he does not look at him with the empty, blind hatred. Instead he looks confused and in pain. "Cloud why..." Those two words leave his lips as he falls to his knees, leaving the blonde reeling, staring at him with wide eyes. For once, his retreat is not one of urgency to get out but instead, it is one of panic. Looking down his hands were covered in blood and he could see those green eyes in his mind, looking hurt and filled with a deep pain, a pain that he knew all too well from all the times Sephiroth had used him and hurt him._

_What had he done?_

_Yet as Sephiroth stumbles out, bleeding heavily, he is just as forced to follow as he had been before. That thin catwalk that he had ended up impaled on was frightening, but he needed to help the man. But what he realised too late was that Jenova's head was in his hands. What he realised too late, was Masamune slicing through the air to impale him on it. But what he could not do, could not achieve was throwing Sephiroth off. Instead, he was tossed off of the catwalk, falling towards the pool of mako._

"_Absurd. Defeating me is meaningless. You know that more than anyone, Cloud. No matter how many times I fall, your darkness keeps calling me back!" The words are haunting, heard in his head as he falls, staring into those bright eyes that are yet again filled with pain but also the insanity brought by the calamity._

_He keeps falling, falling but never reaching the mako, simply falling, stuck to watching his eyes turning, changing he feels the Masamune ag-_

"Wake up, Cloud," comes the commanding voice that finally drags the young man from sleep, causes Cloud to open those bright blue eyes and stare into the very green ones that haunted him that had looked at him with hurt and pain and without realising what he did, he tried to push away the General.

"Leave me be! Just let go please! I can't... d-don't kill me again," he cried out in a state of panic, beating at the strong man in front of him but Sephiroth was stronger. Instead of letting himself be pushed away, he drew the smaller man into his arms, holding him tightly, ignoring the tears, ignoring the pleas until the blonde finally gave up, bursting into uncontrollable sobs. An all of that time, the General held him, rocked the nightmare-ridden boy in his arms, and soothed him. Something unlike anything Cloud could have ever thought him capable of.

Cloud was in a state of distress. Waking up to those eyes had sent his mind reeling but now, held against that strong figure, feeling the warmth of him, smelling the subtle scent that was him was soothing him. Also, Sephiroth's voice was in his ears, soothing and calming him, trying to get him out of the nightmare. Of course it was also at that point that Cloud wondered whether the man had always been capable of this emotion, of sympathy, but he brushed it away as he started to pull himself back together. Soon enough, he was simply leaning onto the man, drawing in the comfort, hardly noticing the fact that he was now cradled in the General's arms, being held almost like a lover.

"You have bad dreams often, Strife."

It wasn't a topic Cloud wanted to broach but of course Sephiroth would bring it up. He should have moved away but instead, the young man stayed where he was, listening to the man's steady heartbeat, even if the leather was getting to be a bit uncomfortable against his cheek. Apparently, the man had just come back from some form of work.

"I… yeah…" There was nothing more he could truly say, not able to come up with anything else as he stayed there, curled up against the one who he had always thought of as an enemy.

"And I seem to bring them out."

This made Cloud start and he pulled back to look at the man, his eyes somewhat wide, trying to see in those eyes whether or not he had guessed something was wrong. His jaw was working, trying to get some form of response out but he couldn't and his distress started mounting. In a previous life, he would have dismissed it, ignored it and moved on, but now his mind did not let him. He was left to face the agony and turmoil of trying to tell this seemingly kind man that he was the cause of his lack of sleep.

"I… I can't explain it's… difficult," he finally managed to say softly and was somewhat surprised to see that the man did not push him, instead a gentle hand found its way to Cloud's chin, tilting it to watch him quite closely.

"You will explain to me, but later. I wish to point out, Cloud, that I also seem to be capable of soothing you." That voice was soft, trying to get the blonde to understand that this could be solved. It also showed that Sephiroth possibly wanted to have some kind of a relationship and that made Cloud stare at him and this time it was in awe. Giving into an urge he never thought he would have had, he hugged the man tight, pressing his face against his neck, the amused chuckle leaving the General making him smile.

"I won't forget, how-"

If Sephiroth could shut him up with kisses, then didn't it work the other way around as well? There was a certainty to him like there hadn't been before, the fact that the silver-haired man was going to give him a chance to figure things out before he confronted him about his nightmares made him realise he was so human it hurt. How could madness turn such a wonderful person into a murdering psychopath? But all those thoughts were shoved from his mind as a very devilish tongue brushed against his lower lip, demanding full attention. Did he had to be this good at everything?

A soft groan left Cloud as he let himself go into the kiss, hands finding those long strands of silver, fingers entangling in the strands as he pressed his own lean figure against the undeniably powerful one of the General's. It was absolutely heavenly to be kissed by him, something he could have never thought he could have enjoyed, but here he was, almost mewling into his mouth because of a thing he did with his tongue. The arousal coursing through him was making it difficult for him to keep a clear mind, especially when one of those strong hands found its way down to his rump, pulling him closer and pressing their hips together, showing that they were both just as affected by the transaction they were engaged in.

Cloud was quite certain his hormones would have been more than slightly glad to let go, to let that man do whatever it was that he wanted to do to his teenaged body but it was also in that moment that a clearing of a throat could be heard and they broke their kiss, panting. Turning his head, Cloud saw Genesis and the look he saw on his face was one that wasn't exactly a friendly one. As if he had taken something of his. Cloud's eyes widened in shock, but it was nothing compared to the sharp sting of pain as Sephiroth lifted him off of his lap just to get up.

"Genesis, we need to talk."

From the look on Genesis' face, he was quite certain the redhead agreed but it was also in that moment that his mind connected the dots. There were only three bedrooms in the apartment which ultimately meant, Genesis and Sephiroth shared one. They were an item. And Cloud's mind had been slow to connect and now he was left with the truth glaring at him. The two were talking but he couldn't hear a thing. Instead he felt numb, getting to his feet to fetch his sneakers. He needed to run and he needed to run far and fast.

Cloud missed those green eyes watching his retreat even if the redhead was ranting at him. Missed the way it seemed the older man wanted to call him back, wanted to tell the Commander to go away, to leave him be and simply go after the blonde. But he didn't, opting to face the wrath of Genesis.

* * *

_Author's Note:_ You guys have absolutely no idea how glad I am to realise that I have not lost you! As in the readers. It's a lovely thing watching the graph and seeing that my story is actually getting read and I simply have to thank all of you for that.


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